this blog is too nice to be left unupdated...
lol........
well, last major event of the week,
my english essay...
I seriously have no idea how I managed to hang through these 3 days...
'Forgive and forget'....
I said that to Kath?
okay... short term memory........
Joke of the day:
At least I don't go 'Shit! I duno my Flufagalonoaeskhfeauhdskad....'
haha.... I was so confident b4 I did my chem test...
but I found out I already got 2 mc wrong...
so stupid. It's all concept questions
and I got them wrong cuz I was too busy doing calculations I didn't read the notes over clearly.
Finally got the jap project over with...
Cindy and Winnie's was hilarious...
Oyama sensei.... revealing her secret of her love towards Acer...
LOL.........!!
I used to HATE the word 'lol'...
lol.... it's supposed to mean 'laughing out loud'...
but how much emotions can you put into a word with 3 alphabets?
almost 0.....
but recently, I've gotten into the habit of using it...
lol = funny
LOL = very funny
LOL!!! = hilarious
and the level of hilariosity (!?) depends on the number of explanation marks.
^^... Rochai system of using symbols.
It just doesn't feel right......
no interest in talkin abt cars at all,
but when the two other people you're with keeps talking about it,
there nothing I can do aside from join in!?
-ROZ BLOG-
I would've written some quotes,
but why bother?
It's your own life...
live it your own way.
2.28.2002
2.26.2002
hmmmm.........
another freakin busy week...
today- Jap test
wed- theory test & physics quiz
thurs- chem test & jap project due
fri- english essay due
me enjoying my last minute of freedom...
then I must go back to work.
things to do :
1) Study physics
2) Ask friends to fax physics answer key
3) Hand in form for tournament
4) Get stuff for jap play
5) Ask friends to fax chem answer key
6) Study chem
7) Study band theory test
8) Organize and research for english essay
9) Write english essay
8) Organize trip to Japan
9) Try to find part-time job
10) Try to persuade my dad to let me go to TW
11) Try to persuade people to join Douglas B tournament with me even tho it's in NW
12) Try to train myself fit enough for the tournament
13) Try to improve my skin condition
14) Try to remember to apply for VRC membership
Things I should stop doing:
1) Going online wasting time
2) Watching TV wasting time
3) Taking naps wasting time
4) Procrastinating wasting time
5) Get mad at people unnecessarily wasting emotions
6) Relying on other people.... cuz one day I'll find out I'm on my own
7) Thinking I can handle anything last minute.... cuz one day I won't be able to juggle doing 3 things at once anymore
8) updating this blog.... wasting time.........
another freakin busy week...
today- Jap test
wed- theory test & physics quiz
thurs- chem test & jap project due
fri- english essay due
me enjoying my last minute of freedom...
then I must go back to work.
things to do :
1) Study physics
2) Ask friends to fax physics answer key
3) Hand in form for tournament
4) Get stuff for jap play
5) Ask friends to fax chem answer key
6) Study chem
7) Study band theory test
8) Organize and research for english essay
9) Write english essay
8) Organize trip to Japan
9) Try to find part-time job
10) Try to persuade my dad to let me go to TW
11) Try to persuade people to join Douglas B tournament with me even tho it's in NW
12) Try to train myself fit enough for the tournament
13) Try to improve my skin condition
14) Try to remember to apply for VRC membership
Things I should stop doing:
1) Going online wasting time
2) Watching TV wasting time
3) Taking naps wasting time
4) Procrastinating wasting time
5) Get mad at people unnecessarily wasting emotions
6) Relying on other people.... cuz one day I'll find out I'm on my own
7) Thinking I can handle anything last minute.... cuz one day I won't be able to juggle doing 3 things at once anymore
8) updating this blog.... wasting time.........
2.25.2002
So pissed off at some people in the hallway today...
If they wanna go by us,
just say 'Excuse me' and we'll make way for you...
don't just freakin push my bag and expect me to let u pass...
simply the best.. !?
reconstructing relationships
Get so freakin pissed off at Inglis..
ALL the time...
Stupid comprehension.. arrgh 15% of the spreadsheet!? Wtf!?
and after she rescaled the marks my mark went down 8%...
wat kinda of scaling is that!?
And I dun even have to see....
I'll probably get 80% or lower for my essay...
it's unchangeable........ no, not with her.
Looking for part-time job again...
wondering how pissed off my dad will get
when he finds out all I wanted was to get badminton training from TW
well... it's my life.
If I want to do something, I'll try my best to do it.
Nothing can stop me unless I give up myself.
commitment commitment commitment....
you know, I'm starting to know why it is so.
Imbalance in the amount one is willing to pay
ruins the whole commitment...
naw... that's why there'll never be a peaceful world.
If they wanna go by us,
just say 'Excuse me' and we'll make way for you...
don't just freakin push my bag and expect me to let u pass...
simply the best.. !?
reconstructing relationships
Get so freakin pissed off at Inglis..
ALL the time...
Stupid comprehension.. arrgh 15% of the spreadsheet!? Wtf!?
and after she rescaled the marks my mark went down 8%...
wat kinda of scaling is that!?
And I dun even have to see....
I'll probably get 80% or lower for my essay...
it's unchangeable........ no, not with her.
Looking for part-time job again...
wondering how pissed off my dad will get
when he finds out all I wanted was to get badminton training from TW
well... it's my life.
If I want to do something, I'll try my best to do it.
Nothing can stop me unless I give up myself.
commitment commitment commitment....
you know, I'm starting to know why it is so.
Imbalance in the amount one is willing to pay
ruins the whole commitment...
naw... that's why there'll never be a peaceful world.
2.24.2002
Had a nice day of all badminton....
even tho I strained my arm and wrist...
Dad pissed off at me for tiny things...
arrrghhh.....
I'll just keep my peace.
Didn't realize I reversed my T-shirt until I got home...
doesn't matter anwyay... I only removed my sweatshirt for like 30 minutes...
I don't really care, no one's gonna care...
but by writing this paragraph,
I've already sold myself out...
I do really care.. maybe people will think I'm stupid!?
Ai... I'm trying to make myself not care,
but thinking abt it proves that I care more than I want myself to care.
Right.... this may sound like nonsense to you,
but it's critical to me.
I just realized today that maybe I'm not the one who's deproved...
it's people around me who's improved....
There was hardly anyone @ Dunbar today @ 4...
got to play almost 2 hours straight...
3 singles games I won all of them..
played more than 5 double games up to 15...
and I think me and my partner won in the end.
Hehe.. it's was fun...
This is so bad...
my posture is bad, I'm using wrong strength,
I can't control the birdie.....
Ahhhhhhh... come back.. come back plz, my badminton spirit!!!!!
so tempted to go to Taiwan,
after jason mentioned badminton training...
AHhhhhhhhhhhh badminton / shopping??
Soo many things waiting for me to do...
but I'm just wasting time here doing nothing.
What the hell am I thinking?
even tho I strained my arm and wrist...
Dad pissed off at me for tiny things...
arrrghhh.....
I'll just keep my peace.
Didn't realize I reversed my T-shirt until I got home...
doesn't matter anwyay... I only removed my sweatshirt for like 30 minutes...
I don't really care, no one's gonna care...
but by writing this paragraph,
I've already sold myself out...
I do really care.. maybe people will think I'm stupid!?
Ai... I'm trying to make myself not care,
but thinking abt it proves that I care more than I want myself to care.
Right.... this may sound like nonsense to you,
but it's critical to me.
I just realized today that maybe I'm not the one who's deproved...
it's people around me who's improved....
There was hardly anyone @ Dunbar today @ 4...
got to play almost 2 hours straight...
3 singles games I won all of them..
played more than 5 double games up to 15...
and I think me and my partner won in the end.
Hehe.. it's was fun...
This is so bad...
my posture is bad, I'm using wrong strength,
I can't control the birdie.....
Ahhhhhhh... come back.. come back plz, my badminton spirit!!!!!
so tempted to go to Taiwan,
after jason mentioned badminton training...
AHhhhhhhhhhhh badminton / shopping??
Soo many things waiting for me to do...
but I'm just wasting time here doing nothing.
What the hell am I thinking?
2.22.2002
I have this annoying habit
that I give up when I play someone I know I can't win.
well... where's my sportsmanship?
Ankle feels like its falling off....
Fuck!
Are they gonna add term 1 and 2 marks together!?
Those who read this and is very frustrated like me
should tell their parents to call the office every single day
and bug them until they take their decision back.
(method that Ms. Johnstone taught us)
So pissed off...
he promised to give me a car when I go to UBC..
I dun freakin care if I have a parkin space or not..
I want a car..............
that I give up when I play someone I know I can't win.
well... where's my sportsmanship?
Ankle feels like its falling off....
Fuck!
Are they gonna add term 1 and 2 marks together!?
Those who read this and is very frustrated like me
should tell their parents to call the office every single day
and bug them until they take their decision back.
(method that Ms. Johnstone taught us)
So pissed off...
he promised to give me a car when I go to UBC..
I dun freakin care if I have a parkin space or not..
I want a car..............
2.21.2002
What's the big deal?
smart living...
is to have different perspectives
It's just a small, small thing....
tinier than dust...
well it's big...
of course it's big, if you focus on it so closely.
cheer up Steph...
build up trust and understanding...
u guys can do it.
Well but what am I?
above average grades not enough to be called smart
above average voice not enough to become a singer
above average talent not enough to be called talented
above average skills not enough to be an athelete
above average everything, but not great enough to accomplish anything great.
"The fifth wheel"
interesting show.. first time watching it..
heh... and so the girl chose the guy who was cuter,
instead of the more intimate guy.
Well... won't we all if we had a choice? heh...
Just give me a little more time,
I can do it.
Just give me a little more trust,
I can do it.
Just give me a little more confidence,
I can do it.
Just give me a little more of everything,
so I can believe that I can do anything I want.
smart living...
is to have different perspectives
It's just a small, small thing....
tinier than dust...
well it's big...
of course it's big, if you focus on it so closely.
cheer up Steph...
build up trust and understanding...
u guys can do it.
Well but what am I?
above average grades not enough to be called smart
above average voice not enough to become a singer
above average talent not enough to be called talented
above average skills not enough to be an athelete
above average everything, but not great enough to accomplish anything great.
"The fifth wheel"
interesting show.. first time watching it..
heh... and so the girl chose the guy who was cuter,
instead of the more intimate guy.
Well... won't we all if we had a choice? heh...
Just give me a little more time,
I can do it.
Just give me a little more trust,
I can do it.
Just give me a little more confidence,
I can do it.
Just give me a little more of everything,
so I can believe that I can do anything I want.
2.20.2002
if it is meant to be
then even if I dun go to them,
they will come to me.
according to tests,
I have a good diet,
underweight body
and 93 years to live.
HOW I wish i could believe in this. hah....
how come the 8 hour sleeping thing didn't work today???
probably cuz... my dad woke me up at 5 asking me if there's band...
Spent so much time typing an E-mail
I dun feel like updating here anymore...
spent too much brain power on one E-mail.
Cya tomorrow.
then even if I dun go to them,
they will come to me.
according to tests,
I have a good diet,
underweight body
and 93 years to live.
HOW I wish i could believe in this. hah....
how come the 8 hour sleeping thing didn't work today???
probably cuz... my dad woke me up at 5 asking me if there's band...
Spent so much time typing an E-mail
I dun feel like updating here anymore...
spent too much brain power on one E-mail.
Cya tomorrow.
2.19.2002
Battle of the inner voices...
one is yelling
'Do what you should do! That's how life is.'
one's yelling
'Do what you want to do! Everyone's selfish.'
There are things that you should worry about later,
so why not free yourself
so you get time to worry about things you should be worrying about now.
I was debating with myself on whether to get tea or not afterschool...
But then I figured,
'why spend so much brain power on a cup of tea'
so I left and didn't get it.
Isn't it sad if you know how something should be
but you just cannot prove it
and everyone else thinks you're lying?
--thoughts after watching 'Chong Sai gei'...
feel so sorry for Leo.
Sudden urge of being 孝順
feel like I've wasted so much time already...
should've been like that since the beginning.
one is yelling
'Do what you should do! That's how life is.'
one's yelling
'Do what you want to do! Everyone's selfish.'
There are things that you should worry about later,
so why not free yourself
so you get time to worry about things you should be worrying about now.
I was debating with myself on whether to get tea or not afterschool...
But then I figured,
'why spend so much brain power on a cup of tea'
so I left and didn't get it.
Isn't it sad if you know how something should be
but you just cannot prove it
and everyone else thinks you're lying?
--thoughts after watching 'Chong Sai gei'...
feel so sorry for Leo.
Sudden urge of being 孝順
feel like I've wasted so much time already...
should've been like that since the beginning.
"Excuse me but can I be you for a while
My dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the Anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again
Yeah I can hear that
Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me you never shut up
Yeah I can hear that
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes I said sometimes
I hear my voice and it's been here silent all these years
So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts
Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon
How's that thought for you
My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker
do you think it's enough to get us there
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes I said sometimes
I hear my voice and it's been here
silent all these..
Years go by will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my head
Years go by will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left
One more casualty
You know we're too easy easy easy
Well I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now
but baby don't look up
The sky is falling
Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
It's your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin' at you here take hold of my hand
Yeah I can hear them
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice
I hear my voice I hear my voice
And it's been here silent all these years
I've been here silent all these years
Silent all these Silent all these years"
-Silent all these years
My dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the Anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again
Yeah I can hear that
Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know but nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me you never shut up
Yeah I can hear that
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes I said sometimes
I hear my voice and it's been here silent all these years
So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts
Boy you best pray that I bleed real soon
How's that thought for you
My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker
do you think it's enough to get us there
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes I said sometimes
I hear my voice and it's been here
silent all these..
Years go by will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds raining in my head
Years go by will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left
One more casualty
You know we're too easy easy easy
Well I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now
but baby don't look up
The sky is falling
Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
It's your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin' at you here take hold of my hand
Yeah I can hear them
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of his with her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes I said sometimes I hear my voice
I hear my voice I hear my voice
And it's been here silent all these years
I've been here silent all these years
Silent all these Silent all these years"
-Silent all these years
2.17.2002
Scared by the thought of 'future'...
trying to spend my day as fully as possible,
but end up finding I have nothing to spend my time on.
If I try to slow down time,
it will slow down so much, too much
so I might as well just let it pass....
Rarely get scared by the thought of
homework.. tests... work....
but today suddenly I felt the fear...
math crossgrade? English quiz? Chem quiz? Jap project?
Scared by the thought that eventually I will procrastinate so much
that I won't be able to keep up with the pace of my life anymore.....
I should've had a very fulfilling day,
but somehow I feel the day is so meaningless...
I had 4 hours of badminton,
practiced trombone,
started drawing a picture,
and I'm gonna start studying math soon...
sports, acedemics, arts, music..
I basically did a bit of everything
but still it feels so meaningless...
why?
Badminton... was okay.
I'm getting a bad habit of using my arm too much...
ai.. I used to be able to smash with my wrist strength...
wat happened... I lost it and I switched to using my arm strength..
and now I've strained my whole right arm muscle and my old tore tendon...
Bad... really bad.
I want my old posture and strength and energy and stamina back...
what happened to me????
I just remembered something really bad...
at the tournament Jenny said
'Why did Calvin enter us in this tournament?'
and Kyle, Calvin's son was sitting right in front of us and he heard it...
then after our doubles consolation game, Jenny said
'I'm still not warm'
and I said 'Wat? you're still not warm?'
and I think our opponents and another few ppl heard it...
ai I feel so bad now.
We said that cuz it just popped out of our minds..
but other people might think we're cocky...
cocky when we still suck so much?
That is just bad.........
I will remember not to put cool-aid on my neck anymore..
it burns my skin so much it hurts like crazy.....
second time I forgot already... T__T
trying to spend my day as fully as possible,
but end up finding I have nothing to spend my time on.
If I try to slow down time,
it will slow down so much, too much
so I might as well just let it pass....
Rarely get scared by the thought of
homework.. tests... work....
but today suddenly I felt the fear...
math crossgrade? English quiz? Chem quiz? Jap project?
Scared by the thought that eventually I will procrastinate so much
that I won't be able to keep up with the pace of my life anymore.....
I should've had a very fulfilling day,
but somehow I feel the day is so meaningless...
I had 4 hours of badminton,
practiced trombone,
started drawing a picture,
and I'm gonna start studying math soon...
sports, acedemics, arts, music..
I basically did a bit of everything
but still it feels so meaningless...
why?
Badminton... was okay.
I'm getting a bad habit of using my arm too much...
ai.. I used to be able to smash with my wrist strength...
wat happened... I lost it and I switched to using my arm strength..
and now I've strained my whole right arm muscle and my old tore tendon...
Bad... really bad.
I want my old posture and strength and energy and stamina back...
what happened to me????
I just remembered something really bad...
at the tournament Jenny said
'Why did Calvin enter us in this tournament?'
and Kyle, Calvin's son was sitting right in front of us and he heard it...
then after our doubles consolation game, Jenny said
'I'm still not warm'
and I said 'Wat? you're still not warm?'
and I think our opponents and another few ppl heard it...
ai I feel so bad now.
We said that cuz it just popped out of our minds..
but other people might think we're cocky...
cocky when we still suck so much?
That is just bad.........
I will remember not to put cool-aid on my neck anymore..
it burns my skin so much it hurts like crazy.....
second time I forgot already... T__T
2.16.2002
Tournament over...
hahaha even tho I got killed in singles
and lost badly in doubles,
I still feel happy cuz I think I did my best.
All the best junior players from across Canada came...
haha I wish I can be one of the 'best' in the future...
Our first game was against the pair from Alberta that has first seat...
impossible to beat them plus we were quite confused...
Since it's the first game we didn't know wat to do...
and so not awake.
Well we got two points off them... haha
that's an accomplishment!
But the main problem was neither of us were fully awake I think.
Second game against the pair from Manitoba (!?) forgot...
they're mainly technique and skills...
they dun have really fast speed or strong power,
but they beat us so badly too.
I watched a couple of games b4 this game,
and that helped me a lot...
at least I know I'm not 'THAT sucky' and a lot of mistakes I make those ppl make too.
And I learnt some strategies from watching them play...
it boosted my confidence and I gained some skills too..
I think I did well in this game... I'm satisfied with my performance.
haha... yet of course, Jenny and I still have to work a lot...
Discoveries...
National junior players like to say
'Come on... ' 'Focus!!'
when they play,
and they like slapping their partner's butt with their rackets in doubles.
Sooo weird. haha....
All I say is 'Oh my god that was so stupid!!'
or 'Oh my god why did I do that?'
or just simply.. 'Oh my god...'
haha...
Wow... I felt so good playing the second game..
I could do anything I wanted to...
I could smash, cut, drop, clear,
and even the backhand that I lost yesterday.
I think having a partner beside me really improves my playing...
Gets me less nervous and more easily adaptable to the court.
After tournament we went to Oakridge...
had really good teriyaki beef noodles.. mMMmm
but got sauce on my WHITE pants AGAIN... T__T lol...
After that I went home and rested for a bit,
watched 'Tokyo Raiders'...
hehe it's pretty good... except it's a bit confusing.
I like 'Leung chiu wai'... hahaha he's so cute.
Kelly acts weird... so unnatural.
They had the two japanese guy in there too!!!
One is the husband of 'tung yuen gei heung' from 'Happy Mania'...
and the other is the detective from 'Ice World'...
hahaha sooo funny.. I liked the Happy Mania guy tho. He's cool.
Not a bad movie.. haha pretty entertaining for an hour and a half.
After movie, I went to VRC training..
we did drops and singles...
it was pretty good, actually...
I still can't beat Daniel in singles.. T__T
but it's alright... someday I will beat him.
Oh man, and I lost to Florence too...
she kept dropping me and I couldn't get it.
My VERY VERY SERIOUS WEAKNESS:
I run front VERY slowly... can't return drop shots at all
Normally it's the other way around...
but it's so weird. I can't help myself from jumping and skiping to get the net shot,
but that slows me down so much.
Gotta work on that.. a lot.
But I had a good smash, good clear and pretty good drops today...
'good shot... unbelievable' my slice !?
bai~
I feel so healthy today...
Sleeping for 8 hours,
waking up at 8:30 and playing sports all day long...
makes me feel so good and healthy...
I feel like how I felt last summer...
not the unhealthy weak me this winter.
And even tho I woke up at 8:30,
I still feel so energetic now!!
Healthiness... like the feeling.
Haha just remembered,
the car bump woke me up this morning...
good thing the lady was in a hurry
*phew*.. hahah
Devastating news...
how can you get a puppy,
get tired of it in 3 days
and send it back sick!?
That's just BAD....
despise people who do that..
if you can't take responsibilities,
then you shouldn't have gotten it in the first place.
And if you got it,
you should take good care of it and take it to the vet when it's sick...
Oh my god.....
hahaha even tho I got killed in singles
and lost badly in doubles,
I still feel happy cuz I think I did my best.
All the best junior players from across Canada came...
haha I wish I can be one of the 'best' in the future...
Our first game was against the pair from Alberta that has first seat...
impossible to beat them plus we were quite confused...
Since it's the first game we didn't know wat to do...
and so not awake.
Well we got two points off them... haha
that's an accomplishment!
But the main problem was neither of us were fully awake I think.
Second game against the pair from Manitoba (!?) forgot...
they're mainly technique and skills...
they dun have really fast speed or strong power,
but they beat us so badly too.
I watched a couple of games b4 this game,
and that helped me a lot...
at least I know I'm not 'THAT sucky' and a lot of mistakes I make those ppl make too.
And I learnt some strategies from watching them play...
it boosted my confidence and I gained some skills too..
I think I did well in this game... I'm satisfied with my performance.
haha... yet of course, Jenny and I still have to work a lot...
Discoveries...
National junior players like to say
'Come on... ' 'Focus!!'
when they play,
and they like slapping their partner's butt with their rackets in doubles.
Sooo weird. haha....
All I say is 'Oh my god that was so stupid!!'
or 'Oh my god why did I do that?'
or just simply.. 'Oh my god...'
haha...
Wow... I felt so good playing the second game..
I could do anything I wanted to...
I could smash, cut, drop, clear,
and even the backhand that I lost yesterday.
I think having a partner beside me really improves my playing...
Gets me less nervous and more easily adaptable to the court.
After tournament we went to Oakridge...
had really good teriyaki beef noodles.. mMMmm
but got sauce on my WHITE pants AGAIN... T__T lol...
After that I went home and rested for a bit,
watched 'Tokyo Raiders'...
hehe it's pretty good... except it's a bit confusing.
I like 'Leung chiu wai'... hahaha he's so cute.
Kelly acts weird... so unnatural.
They had the two japanese guy in there too!!!
One is the husband of 'tung yuen gei heung' from 'Happy Mania'...
and the other is the detective from 'Ice World'...
hahaha sooo funny.. I liked the Happy Mania guy tho. He's cool.
Not a bad movie.. haha pretty entertaining for an hour and a half.
After movie, I went to VRC training..
we did drops and singles...
it was pretty good, actually...
I still can't beat Daniel in singles.. T__T
but it's alright... someday I will beat him.
Oh man, and I lost to Florence too...
she kept dropping me and I couldn't get it.
My VERY VERY SERIOUS WEAKNESS:
I run front VERY slowly... can't return drop shots at all
Normally it's the other way around...
but it's so weird. I can't help myself from jumping and skiping to get the net shot,
but that slows me down so much.
Gotta work on that.. a lot.
But I had a good smash, good clear and pretty good drops today...
'good shot... unbelievable' my slice !?
bai~
I feel so healthy today...
Sleeping for 8 hours,
waking up at 8:30 and playing sports all day long...
makes me feel so good and healthy...
I feel like how I felt last summer...
not the unhealthy weak me this winter.
And even tho I woke up at 8:30,
I still feel so energetic now!!
Healthiness... like the feeling.
Haha just remembered,
the car bump woke me up this morning...
good thing the lady was in a hurry
*phew*.. hahah
Devastating news...
how can you get a puppy,
get tired of it in 3 days
and send it back sick!?
That's just BAD....
despise people who do that..
if you can't take responsibilities,
then you shouldn't have gotten it in the first place.
And if you got it,
you should take good care of it and take it to the vet when it's sick...
Oh my god.....
2.15.2002
Friday! It's finally friday... ah....
Badminton...
training was actually pretty fun..
backhand games..
damn.. everyone using the other side backhand, not the proper one..
haha but I would really like to learn to backhand clear and smash...
Then we did some doubles games..
they were pretty good, we won all of them except for one....
Tournament...
so shocking when I heard Calvin signed me up for singles...
haha but aside from being nervous and afraid,
I still wanted to try goin for it to gain some experience..
but I really got freaked out when we got there...
sooo many good players, everyone so serious and watching them..
hahaha well I lost really badly... but it was good experience...
I have two choices in my badminton life...
one is to give up tournaments and just play for fun...
another is to train really hard for my last junior year next year....
hmmmm both doesn't sound good. hehe
Doubles tomorrow...
playing Alberta team first game...
OH man... tough.. tough..
OH well. We'll try our best. hehee....
Now Jenny finally realizes...
the fun of steering for the driver when you're a passenger..
hahaha...
damn... dropped McGrill sauce on my WHITE pants...
T___T sooo nasty....
and I have to wear them tomorrow still
Unless I wear my kinda short pair.. but... no.
Soo hungry and tired now...
and all I played was one game of singles!?
oh my god.... getting so old. haha
Did a WHOLE day of backhand,
and when I played my game I couldn't do one single backhand...
hmmmm still getting used to feather birds...
I tried slicing, cutting, backhand, my crosscourt drop...
nothing works.........
need time to adjust.
That girl I played was really fast...
she was also really strong...
hmmm now I know why Calvin makes us do pushups....
She looked really mean...
but I think she was actually kinda nice.
HAhha... all I know is she's from Toronto... so far...
Badminton...
training was actually pretty fun..
backhand games..
damn.. everyone using the other side backhand, not the proper one..
haha but I would really like to learn to backhand clear and smash...
Then we did some doubles games..
they were pretty good, we won all of them except for one....
Tournament...
so shocking when I heard Calvin signed me up for singles...
haha but aside from being nervous and afraid,
I still wanted to try goin for it to gain some experience..
but I really got freaked out when we got there...
sooo many good players, everyone so serious and watching them..
hahaha well I lost really badly... but it was good experience...
I have two choices in my badminton life...
one is to give up tournaments and just play for fun...
another is to train really hard for my last junior year next year....
hmmmm both doesn't sound good. hehe
Doubles tomorrow...
playing Alberta team first game...
OH man... tough.. tough..
OH well. We'll try our best. hehee....
Now Jenny finally realizes...
the fun of steering for the driver when you're a passenger..
hahaha...
damn... dropped McGrill sauce on my WHITE pants...
T___T sooo nasty....
and I have to wear them tomorrow still
Unless I wear my kinda short pair.. but... no.
Soo hungry and tired now...
and all I played was one game of singles!?
oh my god.... getting so old. haha
Did a WHOLE day of backhand,
and when I played my game I couldn't do one single backhand...
hmmmm still getting used to feather birds...
I tried slicing, cutting, backhand, my crosscourt drop...
nothing works.........
need time to adjust.
That girl I played was really fast...
she was also really strong...
hmmm now I know why Calvin makes us do pushups....
She looked really mean...
but I think she was actually kinda nice.
HAhha... all I know is she's from Toronto... so far...
2.14.2002
100% recovered... ^^
Thanks for being there, Kath & Steph hehe
And you're right...
there's only one solution to the problem
and whining and running away isn't the right way.
Well, now that I got one problem solved,
I have confidence that I can solve the rest. *smile*
Walked home today after getting stuff from London Drugs..
hehee I got my favorite chocolate!!
Macadamia Nuts!! MMmmm... they were on sale too! hehe
anyway... it was so sunny today... nice weather, even tho a bit chilly.
Today wasn't time for memories... hehe
it was time for feelings...
I walked by a house and I saw a cat crawling to the front door of a house.
It jumped on the door and meowed...
It wants to go in, but nobody inside the house heard it...
aww... that was soo cute.
The cat just kept purring outside the door...
haha wanna go over and hug the cat.
I walked by a house that I walk by everyday...
I was thinking 'wouldn't it be nice if I had a house like that with my husband and family?'
heh... they had a car parked outside with some cool decorations..
and their window had stickers on them..
feels so homey and sweet...
a really happy family must be living in there...
Uhh.. morning band tomorrow!?
Gonna skip again..
feel so bad.. but I have no choice.
I'm not ready for the scale test at all...
So nervous about the upcoming tournament...
unstress myself..
I would've gone jogging but I didn't wanna pull a muscle right b4 the tournament...
I've been jogging for 4 days but I stopped these two days...
thought I needed a rest...
didn't go jogging yesterday, but I missed my nap,
so I missed jogging again today to nap...
haha... it's oki.
Thanks for being there, Kath & Steph hehe
And you're right...
there's only one solution to the problem
and whining and running away isn't the right way.
Well, now that I got one problem solved,
I have confidence that I can solve the rest. *smile*
Walked home today after getting stuff from London Drugs..
hehee I got my favorite chocolate!!
Macadamia Nuts!! MMmmm... they were on sale too! hehe
anyway... it was so sunny today... nice weather, even tho a bit chilly.
Today wasn't time for memories... hehe
it was time for feelings...
I walked by a house and I saw a cat crawling to the front door of a house.
It jumped on the door and meowed...
It wants to go in, but nobody inside the house heard it...
aww... that was soo cute.
The cat just kept purring outside the door...
haha wanna go over and hug the cat.
I walked by a house that I walk by everyday...
I was thinking 'wouldn't it be nice if I had a house like that with my husband and family?'
heh... they had a car parked outside with some cool decorations..
and their window had stickers on them..
feels so homey and sweet...
a really happy family must be living in there...
Uhh.. morning band tomorrow!?
Gonna skip again..
feel so bad.. but I have no choice.
I'm not ready for the scale test at all...
So nervous about the upcoming tournament...
unstress myself..
I would've gone jogging but I didn't wanna pull a muscle right b4 the tournament...
I've been jogging for 4 days but I stopped these two days...
thought I needed a rest...
didn't go jogging yesterday, but I missed my nap,
so I missed jogging again today to nap...
haha... it's oki.
2.13.2002
Remembered so many things today...
I remembered things back to Kindergarten...
I searched for my old pictures and more memories came rushing back...
if you're bored u can read on...
I remembered I used to have 2 really good friends in kindergarten
I lost contact with them later...
I met one of them on the streets later,
but she seemed to have forgotten about me already.
I met both of them about 2 years later,
in our kindergarten when I accompanied my bro to parents' day
They were talking, and when I tried to see if either of them remembered me,
I heard one girl say, 'Why is that girl staring at us?'
I guess that was the answer......
I met them the third time, at my friend's birthday party.
They happened to be my friend's friends too...
I got to know them all over again, and I mentioned about kindergarten
but they had no memory of me...
Then I remembered in elementary,
we went to a camp called Outward Bound.
We did all sorts of things there,
like canoeing, camping, hiking, diving.. all sorts of things.
We had two coaches each team...
and the coach for my team was a really nice asian guy called Stanley,
and a really handsome blonde guy called Luke...
haha I remembered we had all sorts of rumors,
about who liking which coach and things like that.
But the most I remembered was,
I really liked Luke back then... hahaha I recalled I liked 'his eyes' a lot.
I remember telling a friend 'his eyes are so deep, so sexy'
hahaha... so funny now that I think back about it.
I even kept a picture with his sideview...
too bad I broke my camera at the very last day of the camp...
I lost all pictures I took...
if I had them, I'd probably have a pic of Luke's front face...
I remember I admired a girl in elementary b4...
I thought she was the 'very cool' girl
and I wanted to be friends with her,
wanted to be like her...
but as I can remember, she didn't like me a lot...
She was really pretty but in a cool way...
haha till 2 years ago when I visited DGS I still feared her a tiny bit...
Hehe... I guess I am as ordinary as any one out there.
I remember I was a girl who never belonged to any group...
I jumped from group to groups making new friends
and making friends with people whom others thought 'unsocialble'
well I admit some of them had pretty weird personalities
but I actually became best friends with one of them.
I remember we used to sit in alphabetical order during exams,
and I have always sat near a girl named Erin.
I became friends with her.
After the exams, we were supposed to move our seats back
I had one sheet of garbage in my desk which I was about to throw out the next day,
but when I arrived at school, the class prefect started telling me to clean a desk.
I thought it was only one sheet of garbage, but when I looked,
I saw lots of used tissues and other garbage in MY drawer....
I recognized they were Erins...
I didn't have any proof... I stared at her so hard,
but due to pressure I threw all the garbage away myself.
Can't believe I still remembered that....
I remember I had a friend called Veronica.
Her family was really rich -- she lived on the hill with a pool in her house.
In Hong Kong, all of us just live in tiny apartments...
I really liked her as a friend, and I became good friends with her
but I remember she had really rebellious personality...
I remembered one of my close friends saying to me
"You just wanna be friends with her cuz she's rich."
I got so mad at her....
I remember I got accused of cheating once in grade 3 or something,
and I started crying and all that crap..
haha I said I didn't do it...
I duno why, but I have the habit of looking at other ppl's test even tho I don't copy them..
I did look at their page,
but back then my explanation was:
"I wasn't cheating because I was working on p. 2, but hers was on p. 1. "
that just totally gave myself away...hahahaha
When I had the entrance test to my elementary school,
I remembered very clearly there was this question about
something like 'Trees can talk'...
I had no idea how to do that,
so I tried to look at the paper of the girl sitting next to me,
but she had her pencil case up so I couldn't see anything.
Then I pretended to yawn,
and tried to look at the paper of the girl sitting behind me.
Hahaha... I was so stupid back then....
Good thing now I dun cheat anymore. (Trust me! *wink* hah)
When I was in elementary,
I had a teacher called Ms. Yeung...
she was such an old bitch.
Always thought she was pretty and elegant
but all she is is an old bitch...
I remember she hated me and I hated her (but I never showed it)
Once I was supposed to hand in a picnic form,
I forgot to ask my parents to sign it,
and back then, I thought it was really serious if I forget a thing like that.
So I forged the signature, and handed it in.
But because I was really wimpy back then, I signed the signature REALLY small
and the teacher figured it was fake.
She told me to get my parent's signature again,
but I didn't dare let my parents see the form cuz of the fake signature,
so I faked it about 3 or 4 more times, and the teacher always found out...
finally, I used my hand and covered the forged signatures while my mom signed it.
Haha.....
I also remembered this other teacher...
she didn't like me cuz I wasn't her 'pet',
and she threw away one of the pieces of my chess so I had to buy a new one..
bitch
And another teacher...
she told my parents I like to 'play with erasers in the drawers and not pay attention in class'
when I heard it I was like 'wat the f!?!?' haha..
play with erasers....... I admit I was a weird kid,
but playing with erasers... just too much.
I guess I didn't have much luck with teachers...
I also remembered when I was in F1,
I overheard a girl talking to my friend
'I don't like her, she's always pretending to be cute' (her referring to me)
I got so pissed off I wanted to piss her off,
so I walked over while they were still chatting and said
'Can I borrow some scissors?'
She probably said that loud on purpose,
but she didn't expect me coming back at her like that...
Back then, she probably expected me to avoid her change my attitude or somethin
--- end of memories
Two good things happened to me today..
*smile*... bad things DO come with good things...
it's the forever fair package that comes with life.
hmmm... double-jointed wrist.....
I remembered things back to Kindergarten...
I searched for my old pictures and more memories came rushing back...
if you're bored u can read on...
I remembered I used to have 2 really good friends in kindergarten
I lost contact with them later...
I met one of them on the streets later,
but she seemed to have forgotten about me already.
I met both of them about 2 years later,
in our kindergarten when I accompanied my bro to parents' day
They were talking, and when I tried to see if either of them remembered me,
I heard one girl say, 'Why is that girl staring at us?'
I guess that was the answer......
I met them the third time, at my friend's birthday party.
They happened to be my friend's friends too...
I got to know them all over again, and I mentioned about kindergarten
but they had no memory of me...
Then I remembered in elementary,
we went to a camp called Outward Bound.
We did all sorts of things there,
like canoeing, camping, hiking, diving.. all sorts of things.
We had two coaches each team...
and the coach for my team was a really nice asian guy called Stanley,
and a really handsome blonde guy called Luke...
haha I remembered we had all sorts of rumors,
about who liking which coach and things like that.
But the most I remembered was,
I really liked Luke back then... hahaha I recalled I liked 'his eyes' a lot.
I remember telling a friend 'his eyes are so deep, so sexy'
hahaha... so funny now that I think back about it.
I even kept a picture with his sideview...
too bad I broke my camera at the very last day of the camp...
I lost all pictures I took...
if I had them, I'd probably have a pic of Luke's front face...
I remember I admired a girl in elementary b4...
I thought she was the 'very cool' girl
and I wanted to be friends with her,
wanted to be like her...
but as I can remember, she didn't like me a lot...
She was really pretty but in a cool way...
haha till 2 years ago when I visited DGS I still feared her a tiny bit...
Hehe... I guess I am as ordinary as any one out there.
I remember I was a girl who never belonged to any group...
I jumped from group to groups making new friends
and making friends with people whom others thought 'unsocialble'
well I admit some of them had pretty weird personalities
but I actually became best friends with one of them.
I remember we used to sit in alphabetical order during exams,
and I have always sat near a girl named Erin.
I became friends with her.
After the exams, we were supposed to move our seats back
I had one sheet of garbage in my desk which I was about to throw out the next day,
but when I arrived at school, the class prefect started telling me to clean a desk.
I thought it was only one sheet of garbage, but when I looked,
I saw lots of used tissues and other garbage in MY drawer....
I recognized they were Erins...
I didn't have any proof... I stared at her so hard,
but due to pressure I threw all the garbage away myself.
Can't believe I still remembered that....
I remember I had a friend called Veronica.
Her family was really rich -- she lived on the hill with a pool in her house.
In Hong Kong, all of us just live in tiny apartments...
I really liked her as a friend, and I became good friends with her
but I remember she had really rebellious personality...
I remembered one of my close friends saying to me
"You just wanna be friends with her cuz she's rich."
I got so mad at her....
I remember I got accused of cheating once in grade 3 or something,
and I started crying and all that crap..
haha I said I didn't do it...
I duno why, but I have the habit of looking at other ppl's test even tho I don't copy them..
I did look at their page,
but back then my explanation was:
"I wasn't cheating because I was working on p. 2, but hers was on p. 1. "
that just totally gave myself away...hahahaha
When I had the entrance test to my elementary school,
I remembered very clearly there was this question about
something like 'Trees can talk'...
I had no idea how to do that,
so I tried to look at the paper of the girl sitting next to me,
but she had her pencil case up so I couldn't see anything.
Then I pretended to yawn,
and tried to look at the paper of the girl sitting behind me.
Hahaha... I was so stupid back then....
Good thing now I dun cheat anymore. (Trust me! *wink* hah)
When I was in elementary,
I had a teacher called Ms. Yeung...
she was such an old bitch.
Always thought she was pretty and elegant
but all she is is an old bitch...
I remember she hated me and I hated her (but I never showed it)
Once I was supposed to hand in a picnic form,
I forgot to ask my parents to sign it,
and back then, I thought it was really serious if I forget a thing like that.
So I forged the signature, and handed it in.
But because I was really wimpy back then, I signed the signature REALLY small
and the teacher figured it was fake.
She told me to get my parent's signature again,
but I didn't dare let my parents see the form cuz of the fake signature,
so I faked it about 3 or 4 more times, and the teacher always found out...
finally, I used my hand and covered the forged signatures while my mom signed it.
Haha.....
I also remembered this other teacher...
she didn't like me cuz I wasn't her 'pet',
and she threw away one of the pieces of my chess so I had to buy a new one..
bitch
And another teacher...
she told my parents I like to 'play with erasers in the drawers and not pay attention in class'
when I heard it I was like 'wat the f!?!?' haha..
play with erasers....... I admit I was a weird kid,
but playing with erasers... just too much.
I guess I didn't have much luck with teachers...
I also remembered when I was in F1,
I overheard a girl talking to my friend
'I don't like her, she's always pretending to be cute' (her referring to me)
I got so pissed off I wanted to piss her off,
so I walked over while they were still chatting and said
'Can I borrow some scissors?'
She probably said that loud on purpose,
but she didn't expect me coming back at her like that...
Back then, she probably expected me to avoid her change my attitude or somethin
--- end of memories
Two good things happened to me today..
*smile*... bad things DO come with good things...
it's the forever fair package that comes with life.
hmmm... double-jointed wrist.....
2.12.2002
stil pissed off...
useless bro.....
worry freak dad....
fluctuating grades....
friendship problems...
badminton decisions...
striving for excellence....
difference in values....
frustration in situations...
disappointments and sadness and anger and everything...
everything is driving me crazy
jogging...
love the feeling of relief and tiredness after exercising
at that instant all I feel is tiredness...
so I can just forget about everything else.....
totally forget.......
There is no win-win choice in this situation...
anything decided will have to come with something being sacrificed...
So the final question is --
what do you choose to sacrifice?
-- well but the answer is clear.
I know too well that no one will understand...
useless bro.....
worry freak dad....
fluctuating grades....
friendship problems...
badminton decisions...
striving for excellence....
difference in values....
frustration in situations...
disappointments and sadness and anger and everything...
everything is driving me crazy
jogging...
love the feeling of relief and tiredness after exercising
at that instant all I feel is tiredness...
so I can just forget about everything else.....
totally forget.......
There is no win-win choice in this situation...
anything decided will have to come with something being sacrificed...
So the final question is --
what do you choose to sacrifice?
-- well but the answer is clear.
I know too well that no one will understand...
"No one seems to know the exact cause of muscle cramps,
but some believe that muscle cramps occur
because of low calcium or potassium in the blood.
Others have said that lack of proper fluids,
resulting in a mild case of dehydration can cause muscles to cramp.
Some have even said that not getting enough blood circulation can cause cramping."
I'm so desperate for the cure I researched it on the net...
but some believe that muscle cramps occur
because of low calcium or potassium in the blood.
Others have said that lack of proper fluids,
resulting in a mild case of dehydration can cause muscles to cramp.
Some have even said that not getting enough blood circulation can cause cramping."
I'm so desperate for the cure I researched it on the net...
2.10.2002
Damn smoke....
so pissed off at my dad for burning stuff in the house..
made me feel sick for the rest of the day
Damn Churchill cocky guy.....
so fuckin annoying
How can we lose to them... T__T
If we weren't tired and I didn't have smoke in my lungs.....
would've beaten the crap out of them.
not in good mood
so pissed off at my dad for burning stuff in the house..
made me feel sick for the rest of the day
Damn Churchill cocky guy.....
so fuckin annoying
How can we lose to them... T__T
If we weren't tired and I didn't have smoke in my lungs.....
would've beaten the crap out of them.
not in good mood
didn't go jogging like I planned
cuz of my stomach pain.......
stupid............
I wish it's summer now.
Badminton would actually have been pretty good if something didn't happen....
Morgan is back for 2 weeks to coach us cuz Calvin's away..
we did birdie spinning...... another useless skill that I learn but never use.
Half court spinning games sucked.
I can never get it to roll over the tape.
Half court singles was okay....
I dun get how the level btw players can differ that much..
there are ppl that no matter how hard I try, I just can't beat,
and there are some that I can beat without any effort....
I didn't do too well though...
kept hitting the rim and hitting really poor shots...
Aish................ why.....
Morgan's wife and son came...
haha his son was so cute.....
and that Vietnamese (!?) weird guy who kept mumbling to himself...
and making weird noise after drinking from the fountain
that made me didn't wanna drink from it anymore...
I would've partnered with Jenny when she came..
but then I thought it would be unfair to Phyllis cuz she'd been partnering with me..
so I went with Phyllis... Oh well.
It's these little ironies in my world that makes life uneasy.
Shao's party today...
didn't do much, but I guess that's how parties are.
Without drinking, singing, parties are pretty boring...
today's was okay... but I wasn't in a good mood in the first place..
not much to say.. except
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHAO
even tho he doesn't read this blog. hah....
plus it's not even his birthday yet.
Feels so weird to say 'happy birthday' to someone when it's not their birthday.
even worse mood after party......
cuz of my stomach pain.......
stupid............
I wish it's summer now.
Badminton would actually have been pretty good if something didn't happen....
Morgan is back for 2 weeks to coach us cuz Calvin's away..
we did birdie spinning...... another useless skill that I learn but never use.
Half court spinning games sucked.
I can never get it to roll over the tape.
Half court singles was okay....
I dun get how the level btw players can differ that much..
there are ppl that no matter how hard I try, I just can't beat,
and there are some that I can beat without any effort....
I didn't do too well though...
kept hitting the rim and hitting really poor shots...
Aish................ why.....
Morgan's wife and son came...
haha his son was so cute.....
and that Vietnamese (!?) weird guy who kept mumbling to himself...
and making weird noise after drinking from the fountain
that made me didn't wanna drink from it anymore...
I would've partnered with Jenny when she came..
but then I thought it would be unfair to Phyllis cuz she'd been partnering with me..
so I went with Phyllis... Oh well.
It's these little ironies in my world that makes life uneasy.
Shao's party today...
didn't do much, but I guess that's how parties are.
Without drinking, singing, parties are pretty boring...
today's was okay... but I wasn't in a good mood in the first place..
not much to say.. except
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHAO
even tho he doesn't read this blog. hah....
plus it's not even his birthday yet.
Feels so weird to say 'happy birthday' to someone when it's not their birthday.
even worse mood after party......
2.08.2002
I had the worst dream last night...
I dreamt that I was talking to some friends,
but I was very pissed off and annoyed so
I drove away in my silver acura to badminton training.
(somehow I drove in HK streets)
When i got there, a lot of ppl were there...
Shao, Jenny, Mel, Jim, Ann... even Peter
I went in the training place,
and it was so much nicer than VRC...
it's like a hotel.. with a receptionist...
we left all our stuff on a lobby chair and went in
I walked in looking for Jenny..
I found her in the gym
(the gym looked exactly like VRC's though)
but then I suddenly remembered my dad telling me in the laundry room
'Your mom died of a sudden heart attack...
there has been a lot of weird disease outbreaks lately... blah blah'
so I got really really sad... I had no mood to play badminton at all.
I walked around, hoping to find someone who will comfort me,
but unfortunately I found none.
Mel, Ann and all the girls were playing badminton in the cafe,
and they were having a lot of fun.
I saw Shao in the hallway, I told him I'm really sad,
but he acted like he didn't care and left.
I went to the lobby to look for Jim and Peter and them
but when I got there, no one was there. All the stuff we had left there in a mess,
was now neatly piled together.
Then the scene suddenly jumped to my house,
and I was having dinner with my brother.
Since our mom 'died', I was really sad,
but my brother didn't have any reactions.
I asked him 'Our mom died, don't u care?'
he shrugged and left.
That was a horrible horrible dream...
it was just bad...
I felt so sad and lonely in the dream....
good thing Mel said when I dream of my parents dying, they don't really die.
Been dreamin a whole lot these days...
Can't sleep properly at night.
hmmmm...........
The weather was so nice today!!
When I walked home from school,
I felt so happy and refreshed...
too many days were wasted in rain and cloudiness...
Sun... come!!!!!
I actually enjoyed walking home,
and I kept smiling and laughing I didn't care wat others think about me.
If they think I'm crazy, go ahead.
Somehow walking home brought back memories of summer school...
summer school.... ah.. beach... Richard and Jenny... everything..
just came rushing back to my mind.
It's like I can almost feeel it....
How I wished Steph could be here to walk home with me..
enjoy the nice weather and the sun, talk and share with me...
Went jogging after I walked home...
jogged for 30 minutes.
I went once around the block,
jogged to W. Boulevard and back,
then once more around the block.
It felt so refreshing...
my lungs feels so clean...
I felt I could breathe so well...
I felt healthy.....
Then I had badminton...
Morgan is back..
made us do backhand...
Ah...... I can only do backhand in full court
cuz my backhand has no accuracy at all.
my 'amazing backhand' only works to surprise people
by dropping at a fast speed crosscourt
opps.. just told everyone my secret. Oh well. everyone knows.
The half-court backhand game was actually kinda fun even tho stupid.
It made my leg feel crampy tho...
Then we did doubles...
and we played against a good guy and bad guy...
should've so won the first game.
Oh well. The good guy's too good.
He returns a smash so low, he smashes so hard,
his net shots are good... damn... I'm jealous of him. haha
Doubles was good.... only thing that went wrong was
my leg cramping......
Shit........ probably cuz I stopped eating afterschool...
So damn weak........
stupid fuckin cramp..... just leave me alone.......
Originally good day ended up not so good.
Well.. all good things are followed by bad things.
So true, so true.
Kath's right...
I am and have long been tired of being nice to everyone...
but when I see them,
I just soften up and can't be mean......
selfishness, selfishness....
So freakin pissed off......
why can't we be like them..
why not.......
Damn skunk....
smells soooo nasty
I dreamt that I was talking to some friends,
but I was very pissed off and annoyed so
I drove away in my silver acura to badminton training.
(somehow I drove in HK streets)
When i got there, a lot of ppl were there...
Shao, Jenny, Mel, Jim, Ann... even Peter
I went in the training place,
and it was so much nicer than VRC...
it's like a hotel.. with a receptionist...
we left all our stuff on a lobby chair and went in
I walked in looking for Jenny..
I found her in the gym
(the gym looked exactly like VRC's though)
but then I suddenly remembered my dad telling me in the laundry room
'Your mom died of a sudden heart attack...
there has been a lot of weird disease outbreaks lately... blah blah'
so I got really really sad... I had no mood to play badminton at all.
I walked around, hoping to find someone who will comfort me,
but unfortunately I found none.
Mel, Ann and all the girls were playing badminton in the cafe,
and they were having a lot of fun.
I saw Shao in the hallway, I told him I'm really sad,
but he acted like he didn't care and left.
I went to the lobby to look for Jim and Peter and them
but when I got there, no one was there. All the stuff we had left there in a mess,
was now neatly piled together.
Then the scene suddenly jumped to my house,
and I was having dinner with my brother.
Since our mom 'died', I was really sad,
but my brother didn't have any reactions.
I asked him 'Our mom died, don't u care?'
he shrugged and left.
That was a horrible horrible dream...
it was just bad...
I felt so sad and lonely in the dream....
good thing Mel said when I dream of my parents dying, they don't really die.
Been dreamin a whole lot these days...
Can't sleep properly at night.
hmmmm...........
The weather was so nice today!!
When I walked home from school,
I felt so happy and refreshed...
too many days were wasted in rain and cloudiness...
Sun... come!!!!!
I actually enjoyed walking home,
and I kept smiling and laughing I didn't care wat others think about me.
If they think I'm crazy, go ahead.
Somehow walking home brought back memories of summer school...
summer school.... ah.. beach... Richard and Jenny... everything..
just came rushing back to my mind.
It's like I can almost feeel it....
How I wished Steph could be here to walk home with me..
enjoy the nice weather and the sun, talk and share with me...
Went jogging after I walked home...
jogged for 30 minutes.
I went once around the block,
jogged to W. Boulevard and back,
then once more around the block.
It felt so refreshing...
my lungs feels so clean...
I felt I could breathe so well...
I felt healthy.....
Then I had badminton...
Morgan is back..
made us do backhand...
Ah...... I can only do backhand in full court
cuz my backhand has no accuracy at all.
my 'amazing backhand' only works to surprise people
by dropping at a fast speed crosscourt
opps.. just told everyone my secret. Oh well. everyone knows.
The half-court backhand game was actually kinda fun even tho stupid.
It made my leg feel crampy tho...
Then we did doubles...
and we played against a good guy and bad guy...
should've so won the first game.
Oh well. The good guy's too good.
He returns a smash so low, he smashes so hard,
his net shots are good... damn... I'm jealous of him. haha
Doubles was good.... only thing that went wrong was
my leg cramping......
Shit........ probably cuz I stopped eating afterschool...
So damn weak........
stupid fuckin cramp..... just leave me alone.......
Originally good day ended up not so good.
Well.. all good things are followed by bad things.
So true, so true.
Kath's right...
I am and have long been tired of being nice to everyone...
but when I see them,
I just soften up and can't be mean......
selfishness, selfishness....
So freakin pissed off......
why can't we be like them..
why not.......
Damn skunk....
smells soooo nasty
I had the best dream last night...
good but kinda nasty dream.
Just like Winnie said,
I can't control wat I dream.. right?
haha.. There were 3 parts to the dream.
PART1:
It started out in this ancient chinese village,
and everything was tinted with bluish green.. really dead color.
There was very few people in the village..
and everything was so dark and quiet.
There was a dad and his son,
and they lived without their soul.
They didn't know who they were and why they were living.
One day, while they were walking around,
and they passed the village border.
They suddenly escaped from the dark world,
they realized their existence and found their soul.
PART2 (has nothing to do with part 1)
I met a really really cute blonde guy,
and he kept telling jokes and made me really happy.
I dun quite remember wat happened.
PART3
I was talking to my sons and grandsons...
and I told them about PART2...
part2 was like a flashback thing..
this is like a movie thing...
I told them I didn't marry the guy...
but I wanted to so I can have pretty sons and daughters like him.
That was it..
weird dreams.. hahaha
Suddenly remembered an old dream that I have only mentioned to a few people.
The dream was about detectives...
there were two cases in the dream.. in both cases, I was following this old detective around solving cases...
>>Case1: we arrived at this old japanese apartment, and 4 ppl were sharing it
a guy died of poisoning and a woman died... people who were there during the accident were both saying they didn't do it.
Then somehow the old detective solved it
it was like a flashback movie thing.
so the guy who died.. he was eating noodles... he had a cotton patch on his eye because he had a surgery there or something...
and he was walking to his room, but his roommate accidentally pushed him.
He fell onto this other woman and died.
They found out that his roommate had poison on his hand, and while he pushed him, he swept some poison onto the cotton patch on his eyes.
The poison seeps in once it touches blood, so that guy died immediately.
Then he fell onto the woman, the woman bumped her head onto the wall and died. that was case 1.
>>Case 2: It was like me watching a movie... Leo (Koo) is in a really rich family and he has a sister.
His dad died, so he is the only one to inherit the fortune.
Suddenly, her mom told her that his sister is not really his sister (she had it with someone else),
and that she wants him to marry his sister because she likes him
(it is really because they want a share of the fortune).
So Leo refused, and the mom plotted on revenge.
They put Leo to sleep, and burnt the house while he was sleeping.
Then I went to the hospital with the old detective... and then I saw two big signs which was in japanese
(oh yea... the whole dream was in japanese, and somehow I could speak and read very fluently)...
and I went to the sign that says 'Fire emergency'...
Leo was badly burnt, and he was connected to all these machines and tubes and stuff.
somehow I was like invisible when I walked into the room...
I saw Leo's mom and sister looking at him and checking if he's gonna die.
They thought he was gonna die, so they're gonna get the heritage, and they left.
Then when I walked over to look at him, I saw Leo stand up, remove all the bandage and tubes and stuff...
he wasn't burnt at all.. he was just faking it so the mom wouldn't force him to marry his sister and they wouldn't argue over the fortune.
That's the end.
Interesting dreams eh? haha... dun ask me WHY I have these dreams.
I re-read Kodomo no Omocha again...
I read #8 4 times already,
and every single time,
when I reach the part where Hayama is about to die and he meets his mom's ghost,
I can't help myself from crying... T__T
haha it's so touching...
'If you have done wrong things, you cannot escapt by coming here(heaven).
For punishment, you must carry your sin with you and live painfully for your whole life.
Don't give up, I gave birth to you because I loved you.'
--Hayama's mother
T__________T...........
Finally got to watch the Friends' episode with Brad Pitt...
he's sooooo cute!!!!
And it was soooo funny..
ahha the hermaphrodite cheerleader...
and Ross making out with the 50 yr old librarian..
haha that was just funny...
My grades fluctuate so much.. aish..
first term math: 79% physics: 95%
second term math: 97% physics 75%..
T___T.. this sucks... if only I can switch ONE of them..
I would've gotten uncon.. if only.
ahaha oh well....... IT"S OK.........
OKI!
Jogging..
AHHH my 'hung sum'!!!
I dun have any anymore!!!
sooo bad...
Today lunch I felt so lonely again...
after having the pizza...
no one was talking and I was so bored,
so I went to Nancy's...
they looked at my pictures.. but that was about all we did..
so I left and went to look for Christine and them..
but when I got there,
they just looked at the grad pics,
and then they started talking to other ppl,
holding the group pics so I can't leave
so I was just standing there feeling really dumb doing nothing.
When I finally got to leave, I tried to find Nancy and Kathleen.
I found them and met Satoko.. then they left.
Satoko was stayed with me for like one minute,
then she left to talk to Christine and Katie,
and again I was left standing there with ppl I don't know,
not doing anything and feeling very stupid.
Aish............... maybe ending highschool is a good idea afterall.
Selfishness...
I knew it, I knew it...
We can't decide on which grad pic to develop..
right now it's 6 against 5 for the group hug one,
but now it all depends on Anna...
everyone else thinks the group hug one is better though
(everyone else, as in people who are not in the pic)
I think the group hug one shows more group spirit...
It looks like we're good friends..
instead of just a bunch of people not knowing each other,
sitting there waiting for their indivudual pic...
Oh well. If we're tied...
then I guess the only fair way is to flip a coin or something.
good but kinda nasty dream.
Just like Winnie said,
I can't control wat I dream.. right?
haha.. There were 3 parts to the dream.
PART1:
It started out in this ancient chinese village,
and everything was tinted with bluish green.. really dead color.
There was very few people in the village..
and everything was so dark and quiet.
There was a dad and his son,
and they lived without their soul.
They didn't know who they were and why they were living.
One day, while they were walking around,
and they passed the village border.
They suddenly escaped from the dark world,
they realized their existence and found their soul.
PART2 (has nothing to do with part 1)
I met a really really cute blonde guy,
and he kept telling jokes and made me really happy.
I dun quite remember wat happened.
PART3
I was talking to my sons and grandsons...
and I told them about PART2...
part2 was like a flashback thing..
this is like a movie thing...
I told them I didn't marry the guy...
but I wanted to so I can have pretty sons and daughters like him.
That was it..
weird dreams.. hahaha
Suddenly remembered an old dream that I have only mentioned to a few people.
The dream was about detectives...
there were two cases in the dream.. in both cases, I was following this old detective around solving cases...
>>Case1: we arrived at this old japanese apartment, and 4 ppl were sharing it
a guy died of poisoning and a woman died... people who were there during the accident were both saying they didn't do it.
Then somehow the old detective solved it
it was like a flashback movie thing.
so the guy who died.. he was eating noodles... he had a cotton patch on his eye because he had a surgery there or something...
and he was walking to his room, but his roommate accidentally pushed him.
He fell onto this other woman and died.
They found out that his roommate had poison on his hand, and while he pushed him, he swept some poison onto the cotton patch on his eyes.
The poison seeps in once it touches blood, so that guy died immediately.
Then he fell onto the woman, the woman bumped her head onto the wall and died. that was case 1.
>>Case 2: It was like me watching a movie... Leo (Koo) is in a really rich family and he has a sister.
His dad died, so he is the only one to inherit the fortune.
Suddenly, her mom told her that his sister is not really his sister (she had it with someone else),
and that she wants him to marry his sister because she likes him
(it is really because they want a share of the fortune).
So Leo refused, and the mom plotted on revenge.
They put Leo to sleep, and burnt the house while he was sleeping.
Then I went to the hospital with the old detective... and then I saw two big signs which was in japanese
(oh yea... the whole dream was in japanese, and somehow I could speak and read very fluently)...
and I went to the sign that says 'Fire emergency'...
Leo was badly burnt, and he was connected to all these machines and tubes and stuff.
somehow I was like invisible when I walked into the room...
I saw Leo's mom and sister looking at him and checking if he's gonna die.
They thought he was gonna die, so they're gonna get the heritage, and they left.
Then when I walked over to look at him, I saw Leo stand up, remove all the bandage and tubes and stuff...
he wasn't burnt at all.. he was just faking it so the mom wouldn't force him to marry his sister and they wouldn't argue over the fortune.
That's the end.
Interesting dreams eh? haha... dun ask me WHY I have these dreams.
I re-read Kodomo no Omocha again...
I read #8 4 times already,
and every single time,
when I reach the part where Hayama is about to die and he meets his mom's ghost,
I can't help myself from crying... T__T
haha it's so touching...
'If you have done wrong things, you cannot escapt by coming here(heaven).
For punishment, you must carry your sin with you and live painfully for your whole life.
Don't give up, I gave birth to you because I loved you.'
--Hayama's mother
T__________T...........
Finally got to watch the Friends' episode with Brad Pitt...
he's sooooo cute!!!!
And it was soooo funny..
ahha the hermaphrodite cheerleader...
and Ross making out with the 50 yr old librarian..
haha that was just funny...
My grades fluctuate so much.. aish..
first term math: 79% physics: 95%
second term math: 97% physics 75%..
T___T.. this sucks... if only I can switch ONE of them..
I would've gotten uncon.. if only.
ahaha oh well....... IT"S OK.........
OKI!
Jogging..
AHHH my 'hung sum'!!!
I dun have any anymore!!!
sooo bad...
Today lunch I felt so lonely again...
after having the pizza...
no one was talking and I was so bored,
so I went to Nancy's...
they looked at my pictures.. but that was about all we did..
so I left and went to look for Christine and them..
but when I got there,
they just looked at the grad pics,
and then they started talking to other ppl,
holding the group pics so I can't leave
so I was just standing there feeling really dumb doing nothing.
When I finally got to leave, I tried to find Nancy and Kathleen.
I found them and met Satoko.. then they left.
Satoko was stayed with me for like one minute,
then she left to talk to Christine and Katie,
and again I was left standing there with ppl I don't know,
not doing anything and feeling very stupid.
Aish............... maybe ending highschool is a good idea afterall.
Selfishness...
I knew it, I knew it...
We can't decide on which grad pic to develop..
right now it's 6 against 5 for the group hug one,
but now it all depends on Anna...
everyone else thinks the group hug one is better though
(everyone else, as in people who are not in the pic)
I think the group hug one shows more group spirit...
It looks like we're good friends..
instead of just a bunch of people not knowing each other,
sitting there waiting for their indivudual pic...
Oh well. If we're tied...
then I guess the only fair way is to flip a coin or something.
2.06.2002
So freakin pissed off this morning...
I had a physics test and I stayed up till 2:30 last night
so I didn't want to go to morning band cuz if I went,
I would only have 4 hours to sleep...
my dad got pissed off cuz I was using computer instead of studying...
psh... that's MY study habit...
hate ppl bugging me abt the way I study or my grades.
Just get SO irritated.
Finally got grad pix..
there was only ONE pic I'm really satisfied in,
but that's enough. hehe
the SUCKY white room camera man..
OH my god.. made my face so freakin small..
and in my friendship photo I was standing so far away from Shao and Jenny...
doesn't even look like we're friends.
wat the hell.... he SUCKS.....
We stayed till around 4 afterschool to look at each other's grad pics..
hehe that was fun...
we haven't done that for so long already...
and it felt good...
wouldn't it be nice if we can all go back to how we were...
Stupid computer... can't do anything with it now.
At least I scanned my pics.. hmmm
damn... damn packages.. so expensive...
I had a physics test and I stayed up till 2:30 last night
so I didn't want to go to morning band cuz if I went,
I would only have 4 hours to sleep...
my dad got pissed off cuz I was using computer instead of studying...
psh... that's MY study habit...
hate ppl bugging me abt the way I study or my grades.
Just get SO irritated.
Finally got grad pix..
there was only ONE pic I'm really satisfied in,
but that's enough. hehe
the SUCKY white room camera man..
OH my god.. made my face so freakin small..
and in my friendship photo I was standing so far away from Shao and Jenny...
doesn't even look like we're friends.
wat the hell.... he SUCKS.....
We stayed till around 4 afterschool to look at each other's grad pics..
hehe that was fun...
we haven't done that for so long already...
and it felt good...
wouldn't it be nice if we can all go back to how we were...
Stupid computer... can't do anything with it now.
At least I scanned my pics.. hmmm
damn... damn packages.. so expensive...
2.05.2002
First day of block switch...
it was okay...
easy day,
nothing much to do...
After school I had an Italian Chicken McGrill burger and an Oreo McFlurry from McDonalds'
while I walked home.. mMM.. the burger was good...
McFlurry was really refreshing. hehe
I went home and took a nap...
I remember I dreamt about a lot of things..
but I can't remember what...
but that dream made me happy...
but when band time came I was still really drowsy...
I dropped my trombone and made a loud noise
and everyone stared at me weird...
later I dropped my music... hoi...
lucky it didn't land on much of Carly's spit...
haha I played surprisingly well today too...
hope I'll do well in the playing test.
One very annoying thing...
Kristine K... such a bitch...
she's supposedly our GROUP LEADER...
and she's supposed to go photo copying for us..
but she was like 'No I'm not gonna do it for u, yadda yadda...'
Oh my god.. Just wanna yell in her face
"YOU SUCK!"........
I'm revived!! hehee
don't like staying down there too long,
the air is not fresh enough....
and if I get used to it,
I'll get unhealthy.
Kath, u gotta cheer up!
And u know I'm always here for u too.
Dun worry.. just like I wrote in ur msg board..
well I basically wrote everything in ur msg board already
so I guess I won't write anymore here. ^^
I was gonna write some more,
but I forgot wat I was gonna write
so I guess I'll just stop here now.
it was okay...
easy day,
nothing much to do...
After school I had an Italian Chicken McGrill burger and an Oreo McFlurry from McDonalds'
while I walked home.. mMM.. the burger was good...
McFlurry was really refreshing. hehe
I went home and took a nap...
I remember I dreamt about a lot of things..
but I can't remember what...
but that dream made me happy...
but when band time came I was still really drowsy...
I dropped my trombone and made a loud noise
and everyone stared at me weird...
later I dropped my music... hoi...
lucky it didn't land on much of Carly's spit...
haha I played surprisingly well today too...
hope I'll do well in the playing test.
One very annoying thing...
Kristine K... such a bitch...
she's supposedly our GROUP LEADER...
and she's supposed to go photo copying for us..
but she was like 'No I'm not gonna do it for u, yadda yadda...'
Oh my god.. Just wanna yell in her face
"YOU SUCK!"........
I'm revived!! hehee
don't like staying down there too long,
the air is not fresh enough....
and if I get used to it,
I'll get unhealthy.
Kath, u gotta cheer up!
And u know I'm always here for u too.
Dun worry.. just like I wrote in ur msg board..
well I basically wrote everything in ur msg board already
so I guess I won't write anymore here. ^^
I was gonna write some more,
but I forgot wat I was gonna write
so I guess I'll just stop here now.
2.04.2002
Funny conversation:
A: He's really stressed cuz he has two tests this week
B: Oh really, then during the provincials he'll have 5 tests in a span of 2 weeks.. he'll jump off a building then.
A: haha yea... duno why he's so stressed.
B: It's good that he's in Canada... if he's in Taiwan...
A: (thinking) In Taiwan the pressure's even worse...
B: ... if he's in Taiwan... the buildings are even taller.
lol............. ^^
me and my expectations that are always too high to be met.
A: He's really stressed cuz he has two tests this week
B: Oh really, then during the provincials he'll have 5 tests in a span of 2 weeks.. he'll jump off a building then.
A: haha yea... duno why he's so stressed.
B: It's good that he's in Canada... if he's in Taiwan...
A: (thinking) In Taiwan the pressure's even worse...
B: ... if he's in Taiwan... the buildings are even taller.
lol............. ^^
me and my expectations that are always too high to be met.
2.03.2002
Dislike ppl who are 'tor nai dai sui'...
Why again.. I woke up for jogging
but didn't go...
this is so bad....
wasting my day doing nothing.
Last night was really fun..
it was Ann's birthday thing and we had hotpot at her house...
Mel made her a card, and we gave her presents, flowers
and recorded a video for her.
We got her a Tiramisu cake and took tons of picture...
it was really fun and happy....
last night I was in a really bad mood later,
but... I dun wanna tell why.
Badminton was really good too...
we had lots of running and footworks...
our group came in last, but all other groups CHEATEd...
they either skipped a line or missed something
all those cheaters, U SUCK...
the world is corrupt because there are those kind of people...
Then we did some 2 on 1...
my smash was so weak and unaimed...
wonder when I can get my smash back like before...
but being in the front and being the defender was pretty good...
Then we did some footwork...
and again, people CHEATED...
that small chubby kid called Alex...such a cheap loser...
then Alfred... keeps cheating...
I did 4 rounds when I was supposed to do 3, so I skipped a round the next time,
but I dun get how Alfred's team caught up so fast
wat the hell...
I think that those cheaters should do 10 rounds of those by themselves...
psh.... cheap losers.
I wouldn't do it for them,
because I know they won't for me...
I still remembered the thing in grade 10....
everyone said they wanted to but forgot.
Hoi... I feel so unbelonged to anyone or any group...
everyone is more or less occupied by someone else already
I'm not Christine--I dun have Katie
I'm not Kathleen--I dun have Nancy
I'm not Jenny--I dun have a boyfriend to rely on
I'm not Cindy--I dun have her group of good friends
I'm not Jenny--I dun have Winnie or Mel or friends who have been with her since elementary
when ppl ask me who my best friend is...
I'd probably say Stephanie...
but right now, she's living her own life, independant of me,
ten thousand miles away from here....
Hoi... loneliness....
Last night I had the weirdest dream
at first I dream something about lum jee wing..
but I forgot wat it was about...
then I dreamt that I was sitting in this hall listening to a talk or something,
and Jay (Jau git lun) was sitting in front of me
and then this annoying girl beside him started talkin to him
he got really sick of her so he came and sat beside me
and then we started talking, and he gave me his phone number or something...
I still remember the phone started with 665 or something like that.. hehe
and I dun remember the rest...
haha.. very funny and weird dream... all about pop stars. hah
Why again.. I woke up for jogging
but didn't go...
this is so bad....
wasting my day doing nothing.
Last night was really fun..
it was Ann's birthday thing and we had hotpot at her house...
Mel made her a card, and we gave her presents, flowers
and recorded a video for her.
We got her a Tiramisu cake and took tons of picture...
it was really fun and happy....
last night I was in a really bad mood later,
but... I dun wanna tell why.
Badminton was really good too...
we had lots of running and footworks...
our group came in last, but all other groups CHEATEd...
they either skipped a line or missed something
all those cheaters, U SUCK...
the world is corrupt because there are those kind of people...
Then we did some 2 on 1...
my smash was so weak and unaimed...
wonder when I can get my smash back like before...
but being in the front and being the defender was pretty good...
Then we did some footwork...
and again, people CHEATED...
that small chubby kid called Alex...such a cheap loser...
then Alfred... keeps cheating...
I did 4 rounds when I was supposed to do 3, so I skipped a round the next time,
but I dun get how Alfred's team caught up so fast
wat the hell...
I think that those cheaters should do 10 rounds of those by themselves...
psh.... cheap losers.
I wouldn't do it for them,
because I know they won't for me...
I still remembered the thing in grade 10....
everyone said they wanted to but forgot.
Hoi... I feel so unbelonged to anyone or any group...
everyone is more or less occupied by someone else already
I'm not Christine--I dun have Katie
I'm not Kathleen--I dun have Nancy
I'm not Jenny--I dun have a boyfriend to rely on
I'm not Cindy--I dun have her group of good friends
I'm not Jenny--I dun have Winnie or Mel or friends who have been with her since elementary
when ppl ask me who my best friend is...
I'd probably say Stephanie...
but right now, she's living her own life, independant of me,
ten thousand miles away from here....
Hoi... loneliness....
Last night I had the weirdest dream
at first I dream something about lum jee wing..
but I forgot wat it was about...
then I dreamt that I was sitting in this hall listening to a talk or something,
and Jay (Jau git lun) was sitting in front of me
and then this annoying girl beside him started talkin to him
he got really sick of her so he came and sat beside me
and then we started talking, and he gave me his phone number or something...
I still remember the phone started with 665 or something like that.. hehe
and I dun remember the rest...
haha.. very funny and weird dream... all about pop stars. hah
2.01.2002
I feel so lazy today...
badminton still cheers me up
but it doesn't give me the energy and hyperness anymore
I think my ?? is slowly dying.
Losing my competitiveness and enthusiasm
so ironic...
my brain is constantly fighting over something stupid...
........ feel so slow.... and.... lazy....
dun feel like doin anything.
Wouldn't it be nice if I could stay home and sleep and read comics all day?
Badminton was good...
we did doubles,
and I think Jenny and I worked well together...
I kept screwing up tho... ai....
But then somehow I felt that that winning or losing didn't matter that much.
I also have a feeling that I'm not gonna do well in the VLT tournament either.
.......... so damn lazy.
badminton still cheers me up
but it doesn't give me the energy and hyperness anymore
I think my ?? is slowly dying.
Losing my competitiveness and enthusiasm
so ironic...
my brain is constantly fighting over something stupid...
........ feel so slow.... and.... lazy....
dun feel like doin anything.
Wouldn't it be nice if I could stay home and sleep and read comics all day?
Badminton was good...
we did doubles,
and I think Jenny and I worked well together...
I kept screwing up tho... ai....
But then somehow I felt that that winning or losing didn't matter that much.
I also have a feeling that I'm not gonna do well in the VLT tournament either.
.......... so damn lazy.