Something scary happened...
I found a pack of weed in my locker!?
So freaked out... I saw it when I went to my locker b4 blk B
(I had blk. A spare) but I was too afraid to take it out...
at lunch I saw Maggie and Maggie helped me and threw it in the garbage...
so freaky... this guy says he knows who did it and he just put it in any random locker...
My locker stank so much.... oh my god......
Now it smells like strawberry heehee....
but still... scary............

But aside from that..
today was a very peaceful and ordinary day....

I have lots of hopes in our jap project...
hope it'll be good....
If there really is such trip..
I'll go no matter how expensive it is... heheh
afterall.. one has to have some innocence to be able to live happily...

Chemistry was really fun...
Ruby and her fool-proof face-slapping tricks...
My revenge on Ruby through Christine.. hahah
And Ruby's hand locking trick...
"Get a life!" -- Ruby kept saying that, not noticing that she herself should get one too...
HEhehe.... funny....

Afterschool eating with Christine...
once we started talking about Ms Inglis we couldn't stop...
nothing can be more interesting than cursing her...
I think she's right... the only reason we can get for her giving us such a low mark..
is cuz too many of us has A's and she wants to lower our marks to even out with other classes.
Damn her!! damn her!

Getting stomach cramps almost everyday now...
I don't know why..
I hate my weak stomach.

How can we get 78% for english!?
HOW!? I just don't see how we can get such a low mark...
we don't deserve to receive such a low mark
considering all the effort we've put into it...
Our play was interesting and it was a funny tragedy.....
the script was good... not flawless but at least worth more than 78%...
we were the only group that memorized our scripts and actually dressed up
all other groups had extra time to do theirs...
fuck Ms. Inglis.... I really need my 88%.....
I need at least 83% to get conditional admission... damn her bitch....

YAy... Ms. Adrian did put the test in term 2 afterall...
*phew*.... exxcellent. Good thing I still have my physics mark if my english mark drops...
T____T...

intimate friend!?
or just a passer by.

Walked home afterschool again...
kind of enjoying having my own space...
at school I'm with friends
at home I'm with parents
It's not like I don't enjoy being with them
but sometimes being alone is just as enjoyable.

you know,
people do change...

lost my confidence
and I sucked so bad.. T___T
I'm not physically tired but mentally.. hmm
thinking so slow.. not being able to run around the court
and kept hitting the birdie out..
have to get used to feather birdies all over again.
But this sucks.. my energy burn out so fast....
Ai....... I wanna turn back time to how I was during the summer..

從群體動物到喜歡孤獨...

Decision made
no trip to Victoria...
excellent...
not the result I wanted
but it's good to have made a decision. hehe

Roz' world of new vocabs:
Murderide (v) : to murderide is to have two person killing each other off (basic meaning: muder + suicide)
Sample sentence: Let's all murderide each other....
Zha (potential phrase):
-to say something is zha sui, according to Jason, means it sucks
-to express strong feelings by saying zha, according to Jenny and Roz, means 'fukjap'

If you are hentai
you run around the street naked..
hahahaha
WHO'S hentai!?!? J...E.....n..........
haha don't kill me.

Somehow I had the word KOROSU in my head
when ppl asked me wat break was I just said 'KOROSU'
I dun even remember wat that means....
KILL... KILL... is that wat I've been thinking of all the time!? hehe

Story Emily and I wrote:
"there was once a frog... who loved to eat girls whose name is Emily.
but there is only one girl named emily so he has to travel around to look for her
one day, he sees a beautiful girl that he falls in love with.
but it turns out that the girl is named emily
and therefore he is heartbroken, for he loves her but he also loves to eat her.
he told her to truth and told her to leave him as far as she could
But Emily, seeing how much the frog loves her, tells him to eat her up instead.
because she doesn't want the frog to starve to death, she is willing to make sacrifices
So before the frog eats her up, she suddenly killed the frog and said 'HAHAHA, I'm EVIL'
the end!"
very surprising ending huh!? hehehe

~Surprises and disappointments

1 up must bring 1 down...
it's becoming a rule of MY life........
Big ups and downs today...
Calc test mark cheered me up =)
but the long and confusing physics test just ruined it... =(
knowing about badminton cheered me up =)
but..... something happened and that just ruined it all......=(

Sucks!! Why can't the world be perfect?

Math test and chem quiz tomorrow...
spent 30 minutes on deciding which one to study first...
Uh... and in the end I came to use the computer.
Hah... not very efficient....

Damn physics test..
why couldn't she put that in term 2!?!?
Damn it damn it damn it!!
My retest results are so disappointing...
I was counting on that too... *sigh*
Worrying whether I can even get conditional admission....

this can't be true........... !!!
ah.. miracles of life.

I was so happy during the first half of the band....
second half I started getting stomach cramps....

how can one just walk away???
walk away... walk away....
fine... go away.

Badminton was pretty fun today..
a couple of doubles game then King of the court...
Must work more on doubles!!!!
King of the court was fun... hehe
but I really pulled my arm muscle again...
this sucks... when it was just about to cure... I tore my muscles again...

I got new sneakers!!
new sneakers new sneakers~~
Adidas Nomad... hehehh

Physics... hmmm
how can I forget everything just before the test!!?!?

Spent the afternoon napping...
how could I....
wasting time like that sucks...

I'm totally broke.....
moneyless....
T___T...
and I still owe ppl presents...noOooOO....

closer to u

Lost confidence...

A box inside a box theory...
only the inside one is open but it's still trapped by the unopened outside one.
Get it?

Monsters, Inc
It's such a goooooooooooood movie!!!!
MUST watch!! hehehe
don't miss the short movie before it...
the birds were soooo cute!!!
I liked it.... 'the bird that was different'. hehehe
The movie itself... was really good too!!!
The fur on the monster was so real...
the kid was sooooooooo cute!!!
The whole plot was easy to understand, interesting and kinda touching...
Happy ending... very very funny movie!!!!
Must go watch even if u have no time! hehehe

Went to the japanese place afterwards...
MMmm... Quail eggs and squid sticks....
Those were so good!!! hehee...
and the unexpected 789 joke.. that was funny.. hehee
and the dizzy 'driving-around-in-a-circle' ride...
hahaha.... "I'll follow you"

I duno wat I'm doing ahhhhhHHh
played so poorly in badminton today...
Lost to Phyllis 1-11? Wat the hell!?
Lost to Anson... and lost to Christina...
why................... can't believe it.....
I duno wat's happening to me....
very very slow reactions and very very poor skills
and very very bad hand eye coordination...
Missed the birdies so many times today...
AiSh.. hit it out all the time......
finally understand 不進則退....

"I think, therefore I am"
-Descartes

When a person is too happy,
they would normally underestimate other people's sadness

Had morning band
but I didn't feel tired at all until badminton...
School was okay... didn't really do anything.
Ms Johnstone is really very 'inch'

Did so poorly in badminton....
I suck okay.. I suck...
Saw Jen wong and Jen chu there...
Jen Chu asked me 'Why aren't u in the team?'
and I'm like '...................'
But Jen Chu... ganbatte u MUST beat Jen wong...
(even though there's no way you're gonna be reading this.... telepathically I command you)
Anyway... I couldn't smash at all...
I think my shoulder was curing but I just tore my muscles apart again today...
The very first smash
sharp sharp pain.... ouch....
Couldn't smash at all... WHY?
I even missed the birdie by many inches a couple of times...
Uh... must be morning band...
anything that comes in my mind I'll pick it up and use it as an excuse.
Doubles was okay...
I still feel that Jenny and I lost the 'thing'....
but maybe cuz our opponents weren't that strong, we beat them all...
(even Matthew and Andrew! heeehee...)
and we finally lost to Shaolin and Jerry in the end...
Jerry actually plays better than I thought...
him and Shaolin might accomplish something if they play doubles.
Anyway I think Jason was right.... about Calvin, I think Jason is right.

Island Badminton Tournament!!!
Come on people, let's join!!
It'll be like... a trip!!
And every night after the tournaments we can partyy.......
it would be so cool!!! Join join join!!

Put some cool-aid on my shoulder...
but my wound (from skin bao chak) started to feel cool
and now it's feels lightly stinging...
uh.... maybe it's time to wash my hands...
(back from washing hands)
Nooo... it still feels that way!!!
AhhhhhhhhhhHH (rochai screaming at 10:41PM from Cool-aid corroding her finger)

I was hoping and hoping that .. ...... .... 4....
Had that sour ....... .... ... .... ..... ...
Ok... my ........ is working on me.

~weird perspectives...

Afterschool I walked home
I saw Frank in the very front,
Christine following behind him
and me behind Christine
It's so strange that all 3 people that know each other doesn't communicate...
So I yelled their names.
Then coming to think about it
I met Christine
and then I met Frank
and then Frank met Christine...
hmm... interesting to see how the relationship works.

From a driver's perspective,
I see myself luckier than those walking
I get mad at pedestrians and yell at them in the car
I laugh at how they have to walk and I can sit in the car with music.
"RUN THEM OVER!!!"
From a pedestrian's perspective
I see myself more sentimental than those driving
I get mad at drivers and yell at them on the street
I laugh at how they are only enjoying materistically while I can have my own space and thoughts
"RUN ME OVER, PSH...."
.... so ironic.... hahahah

Stomach ache attacks...
okay... this time really really
no more peanut butter bread in the morning...
my stomach can't take it.

Info tech is driving me crazy...
Finally found an easier method...
but when I downloaded the crack
Rhino wouldn't load anymore..
ARHHHhhh... another problems rises b4 any solution for the last one had been found...

"You can disappear"
and so I did. heh...

After school...
again.. walking in very light rain...
have different sensations when I walk in different rains
but all of them feels good....^^

Uhh... morning band tomorrow..
NOoooooooooooOOOo

I didn't know wat to do again...
sucls! The feeling of helplessness sucks!!
Wat could I have done.... hai....

Is it worth it to love
when love takes your other assets in exchange for happiness?
Those in love will say 'yes' for sure
but it all really depends on who you're loving...
all i can say is...
!! look into the future !!

I've tried my best...
I've done all I could...
It's her choice whether to listen to me or not
and wat I said was for her own good
so one day when I cannot stand it anymore
I can stand up and say 'I did all I could.'

"若過呢個世界無荒謬
又點會有人心存僥倖呢?"
-Green Hope
I like that show
it makes me think...

How come no one is coming online anymore??
Maybe they all have better things to do than...
me (who has no life spending the day in front of the computer)
S-U-C-K-S!!!!

My discman!! AHHHHhh...
the remote broke...
maybe it's because I've been walking in the rain too much..
T___T... my lovely discman remote....

Even though I was one mark away from failing my math quiz
I'm so relieved and happy...
haha at least I got a better mark than I thought
and I still have a 78% average.
Next term I'll work harder.
I will...

I don't deserve that mark,
but when luck comes to me
why run away!?
hehe... sorry but wat difference does it make to u!?

It's alright
I understand
there was nothing anyone could do about it.

Averaging about 89% this term...
if only I could get 3 more %...
only 3 more and I could've gotten UEA...ahHHhh...
stupid math..... stupid calc....
STUPID math subjects I hate math!!!

Getting very moody and unreasonable these days
very very unpredictable.

我行我素...
我喜歡
你別管我.

I like walking in the rain
I like the silence in the small streets
I like the cold, dripping wet feeling...
I like walking into an empty house and doing what I want...

Relieved...
Finally finished the calculus test
No more tests until next week
WOOhoo!!!

"I think we deserve more marks (than this crappy mark we have right now)."
You see... we could've just cut and paste information onto our assignment
but we didn't.
You should appreciate our effort.

"I want this, this, this and this..."
Finally occurred to me that
I duno wat I want.

Just read 3 stories...
they made me think...

My hobby is to surf onto other people's sites and logs
friends, close or strangers...
read wat they write
read wat they have to say
read wat they wanna let me know...
but recently, no one's been updating their pages!!!
this totally sucks...

Getting addicted to this chinese RPG game..
uh... not good.. hehehe

Forced myself to study for calc
If I do well on this test...
if only i do well........

The group performance was... .....
we sucked!!! T___T.....
Tomoki wasn't ready for one of the songs
and David was one beat late in one of them...
STUPID PETROS... arrgh want to strangle him to death.

Went to chiropracter...
he said I strained my shoulder tendant
and it kept getting worse everytime I used it without warming up...
Massaged it for me and it hurted SO much....
But I hope it'll be okay by friday..
yes I'm strong I'm healthy! hehe

alalalala....
dun wanna hear
dun wanna see
dun wanna know..

unnoticeable | gaze | fantasize | disappointment

Had a weird dumb dream last night
I was chased around by this psycho killer person...
for watever I did...
and the whole night I was just running away from him..
that was why I was so tired the whole day today...
cuz I spent the whole night trying to escape.. my god....

ON =)
OFF =(
OFF (w/o bye) T__T

I like my hair now....
it's soft and thinner than how it used to be...
hehehe it feels so good...
I love haircuts! hehee...

其實我做得到
只係在乎我想0吾想做...

Getting so damn lazy...

Math makes me sad
Calc makes me mad...
Letourneau makes me go crazy...
wishing I never took calculus
and have a different teacher for math...

T___T.... I regret so much that I slept in...
I so seriously totally failed my math quiz...
*sigh*.......... ... ........

Finally got a haircut
there's not much difference tho
still the same hair but just a bit shorter...
I like how my hair feels after they cut it... soft and sleek...
how come I can never make my own hair feel that way!?!?

---- last night from 12:00-4:00AM
The meteor shower last night was so cool....
even though we didn't really see a "shower"
we saw a lot lying in the middle of the field
and watching it from the sunroof of my car...
It was so pretty....
It's cool to lie on the grass with friends watching shooting stars...
yea.. it would've been perfect if the weather wasn't that cold.
They say if you make a wish when you see a meteor before it disappears
then it will come true...
sadly, I never got to make one in time.... T__T
I hope half wishes can add up to make one...

Went to look for a warm place after...
but we ended up going to Big Teapot and not ordering anything
then we went back to PG and finally decided to go home at around 4...
Pretty tired but it was alll worth it.....
IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.....................

yayayaya....
sleep and forget does work!
I'm happy again today. hehhee...

Played so poorly today...
tsk tsk tsk... couldn't smash at all..
shoulder still hurts...
lost to sucky ppl in singles... ><..! Why...

"You shoot I shoot"
It's an okay movie...
not as good as I thought it would be
but the storyline is pretty imaginative
I like both actors... hehe they're really cool...

I hate it when I act like I'm ok when I'm not....
I can feel my own laugh...
when I can feel a laugh, that means it's not good.. not good at all

sleep and forget
sleep and forget
sleep and forget

must be fast
must be quick...
must be smart
must be anticipating...

I'm.................. *sigh*

I'm down in the bottom of the pit...
I look up but the sky seems so far up......
so far up that I can never reach it.

T__T 2 years of hardwork.
and wat do I get for it.......
I really have no more patience nor time...
why is life so unfair?

I feel happy for u, Jenny,
but at the same time,
I'm down... really down.

If one thing must go down when one thing goes up
I would pick study over badminton to go down
afterall, school is only a 5 year thing
hobby is for lifetime.
Finally understand there is no 'leung chuen kei mei' in this world.
I tried so hard to keep both of them up
but I end up having both of them not high enough to achieve anything... T__T

I am like a spoilt domestic hamster
I long for freedom
but once I leave my cage
I will be swallowed up by predators and die...

Love being in my house alone...
love the feeling....

Must get rid of my habit...
of sleeping in when I'm not supposed to.
Way #1: Get one more alarm clock
Way #2: Get two more alarm clocks
If all else fails...
Way #3: Get my dad to yell at me every morning.
100% efficient but often 100% fatal.

Damn I fried my math quiz today...
it's not ONLY a quiz.. it's a QUIZ!! (see the switch in emphasis...)
Shit man... very slowly pulled myself up to 81%...
now I'm just gonna drop back to 70...

Chem test result was like wat I expected...
not too high not too low... it's ok.
Only those chisin ppl will get 43.

English in-class essay was obviously.... bad...
hopefully I'm not the worst one
and hope she noticed my effort in trying to write a good conclusion...

Jap was not too bad...
Front door!? Wat the hell she didn't even talk about that page...
And that girl is DEFINITELY NOT ME....
hahah....

Haven't walked home along 41st for so long...
aside from the car gas in the air and bus noises
it was pretty enjoyable...
the sun was shining and the clouds were blue...

hot and spicy chips are addictive!!!!!

I'm soo sorry I didn't keep my promise today...
damn I'm procrastinating EVERYTHNG...
not just schoolwork.. even promises!? *sigh*....
please someone help me... pull me outta this habit...

can't wait till Christmas....
it's nice to have my own space and time
but it's also nice to have family time...

------ realease your anger...
Letourneau's such a fat bitch...
no cars was in the parking lot it was early morning...
why the fuck wouldn't she let us off....
she's on a fuckin strike!!! Wat the hell does she think she's doin...

Townsend's such a stupid vice...
The phone calling problem is the fuckin school's problem!!
Why the hell did u call me in and tell me to ask all my freakin teachers to correct them..
they're on a fuckin strike u hear me!?
And I'm not gonna do extra work just cuz our skool's fuckin skip system is not working properly...
jeez........... I can be a vice if all I had to do was make students do everythin... psh....

I don't understand!!
I don't I don't I don't!!
AhhhhHH!!!!

Missing badminton practice...
awwww.....
no badminton till friday...
maybe it's time to concentrate on my school work.

First playing test
then Chem test
then English essay...
ah.... So damn tired today....

All you lazy people out there who's reading my blog right now
GO update ur own hp!!!!!!!
I'm so bored........... ha...ha...
should be studying Jap and math...
but nah, I think I'll procrastinate. hehe

The most significant thing that happened today was probably our playoff game
if only everyone treated it as a playoff game and gave it 120%...
we could've so won.
But it's alrite.. we lost 5-6.
I was expecting we would lose so much worse...
I'm so proud of our team!!!
West side #4 almost beat East side #1!!!
You guys should all be proud man..
even though we didn't win we all know inside that we're good.
TEAM PRIDE MAN!!!

Hahaha I suck so much at mix...
that's why i've decided never to play mix anymore (except for fun)
Mentioned this to Jenny already b4 today's game...
just not my thing....
During today's game I felt like a monkey...
you know that game.. monkey in the middle trying to catch the ball...
tried so hard but it's just that one second that I'm slow and the birdie's gone...
I don't like being the monkey...
I like being the one who controls the ball...
But it was good experience playing against a top player...

That singles game was close...
hehhee actually we both didn't play our best I'm sure...
the birdie was too fast...
Belinda kept hitting it out,
and I kept making bad shots.
Good thing bad shots only gives your opponent 50% chance of winning that rally,
but out shots gives them 100%...
So damn lucky...
I guess Alex's right... girls' singles is more like a psychological game...

Good job guys!!
Last year we sucked
this year we did well
next year, DO BETTER!!!
GO POINT GREY BADMINTON
Shao and Jim...
don't feel too bad.
Don't blame yourself because there are so much more things that we could've done to win
but things that are meant to be ours will be
and things that aren't meant to be won't...
It's FATE!!

I just realized I talk to myself a lot..
especially when I'm playing a game and there's no partner to talk to
I just go
'Aw come on... she's not that good...you can beat her...'
then my other voice says
'Yea sure... you ALMOST won that game but you lost... remember your losing streak!?!?
3 games in a row!?!? you're so dead man..'
then another voice pops out
'Oh man... it's a playoff game! Gotta try 120%... gotta win.. cannot let teammates down..'
My inner voice... thankyou... haha I won all because of you.

Today I'm in a 'i-dun-care' mood...
hehe didn't really feel like talking to ppl other than about badminton
I'm sorry my friends... if I was talking in a really bad manner on the phone or ICQ...
And Frank, rainy and Maggie.. I owe u guys b-day gifts... *sigh*...so sorry!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAGGIE!
even tho I know you don't even know about this site...
It's the thought that counts! heee...

So moody today...

When I woke up I was in a bad mood
then I was in a good mood
then I was in a bad mood again...

Stupid brother...
his carelessness costed us so much money...
so far he's lost one PS, all our memory cards and some games...
so stupid... how can he not remember!?

Damn... gotta go study...
too much badminton.
All I wanted to do when I woke up this morning
was to go play badminton....
When I think that there's no more school team practices
I get so mad.... ><...
SUCKS!!
Go buy a court, someone...
and I'll go to ur house everyday and play. heh...

Need more training....
so motivated to play badminton...
dun feel like studying at all...
too obssessed with something is not good....

I wish.... something that would never happen
I want.... something that will never be mine
I hope... something that can never come true
I am so greedy ne..... haha...

must study... chem....
40% test!? Wat the hell!?

ah... wanna move around so much....

Hahaha.... no excuses...
I lost.... I was awake there wasn't anything wrong with me
even Calvin came to coach me and gave me tips
maybe I was a bit tired and maybe I wasn't totally awake
but I think I deserved losing....
still need more experience and speed training...
I didn't win one single game but I still got prizes for runner-up in consolation...
hehe even though I didn't go get it I feel satisfied
winning something when I didn't win any games.. hehe
Basically I'm #6 player in the tournament with 7 players
but I didn't even play the #7 player.. might've lost to her. heh

Jenny, don't push urself too hard....
that game was only for fun!
Your health is the most important asset....
Especially when winning that game has no benefits at all
(you see, for me I would sacrifice my health for a real game. but u, DON'T EVER hehe )
Take care.. take a lot of care..
haha I'll be waiting for ur return la, partner...

So tired... 3 days of tournaments...
both physically and mentally drained out of energy...
Gained lots of experience....
Aside from my very poorly played first double game
I'm basically pretty satisfied with how I did...
heh... runner up consolation... hehehee
gotta do better next time.

I wouldn't like someone I totally don't know at all unless he's like super cute
but that'll just be idolism.. not love... heh
I'm so picky!!! hehehe.......

So into updating about the tournaments I forgot to write about myself
finally decided to see the chiropracter about my arm...
not good to let it hurt like that any longer.
My body is still sore especially my back and legs...
can't bend anything... my body's so rigid...
my legs feel like sticks and my back feels like there's a stick stuck on it...
The rochai now turns into... the new STICKWOMAN....

Anyway.. reviewing yesterday's games...
they were pretty disappointing...
first game I totally sucked...
wasn't awake at 10 in the morning and was so slow...
we got killed....
second game I came back after having Ann's 'skeeetles'
but Jenny kinda lost it when she saw that bitch
and we got killed again...
third game we were both into the game (finally)
but maybe cuz we played too much singles in the past few weeks
we're losing our trust and communication skills...
we're not working well together anymore
that was wat I felt when we lost to Jim and Shao 2-15...
and we got killed once again...
it's alright... we crashed and burned but we got experience.

I think I became more ambitious after I played singles...
My first day of singles was good.... even though I burned out too quickly it was a good game.
My second day was doubles and I lost the doubles feel.
Playing singles made me lose trust in my partner (and same way vice versa)
and when I lose trust I very easily go into defense mode automatically...
My third day of singles was okay...
I lost the good feelijng I had in the first day and I kept driving it like in doubles
and kept missing shots...
I wanna choose one between singles and doubles
but I cannot decide on giving up either one....
only one thing can help me to decide but I'm not the one making the decision...
When u get frustrated, try to calm down
think smart, think cool, think calm
think how to outwin ur opponent,
and not getting frustrated as easily...
when u know u can do a shot better than anyone else but u keep missing
change another shot...
the more u try the more frustrated u get the less chance u'll be able to do it.
We basically gave up like 5 points missing that shot.
I wanted to tell u that but there was no time to explain....
wat I think may not be right but I hope we can think the same way...

It's alrite that u guys obviously didn't try in ur mixed consolation
because... I don't play mix and I don't really care. hehehe
no offense, but I don't think they're such a strong team
and wouldn't have made it into consolation finals anyway
so it's alrite to reserve energy for the game today...

went to shao's house yesterday and played the 'Ioeeee' game...
it was so funny and Pin was so good at it! hehehe....
made me wanna play mine so much.....
When I have time... hehehehe

Too tired to update today...
my whole body is sore and I have another game tomorrow.
even if i don't get ranked...
please let me win consolation!!! T__T

I just hate it when people give up chances...
not everyone has a chance and it just pisses me off to see someone throwing it away
Even if I know I can't win,
I still try my best and hope a miracle happens..
not to mention when u KNOW u can win...
Aish.... it's not simply an "i-dun-care" thing...
it's like.. a sportsmanship and 'respect-for-badminton-and-the-tournament' thing...
*sigh* how I wish I got into the finals,
and how sad I was to hear that Jenny didn't even try.
Even when you're playing a total bitch...
u dun get back at her by letting her win the match...
you go beat her that's the way.........
And like.. when you KNOW you can win consolation..
why don't you go for it.....
is it because consolation's too small for you? ai.... all these chances...
I didn't regret because I played a good game...
I was satisfied even though I lost 3 games in a row...
but seeing all these chances of other people flying away...
I just wish I could catch them all, make them see how stupid they were and give them back.
I give it everything once I'm in it...............yea that's the spirit.

The game I played was pretty good...
She knew where I play the birdie in the third game...
then I started losing...
kept telling myself 'stop shaking, must win'
but OH well. I tried my best.
Consolation finals on sunday...
think I'll win!? I'll try my best....
Doubles tomorrow...
pretty big chance of winning...
just hope we don't screw up like we did in the Churchill tournament.
Have to train my endurance....
I'll do better next year.

Kinda wanna play singles...
my devil's telling me 'don't rely on anyone but urself'
but........
I think I'll trust my partner...
more confident on the court with someone beside me who knows how I think.

No giving up
no playing slacky
no fooling around
no stupid mistakes
and always give 120%....
70% skills 30% luck and 20% miracle.

Hurting my arm...
actually the pain kinda spreads along my shoulder to my right neck too
but it's alrite. It's gone after I warm up.
It's alrite. Everything's alright. I'm fine. I'm good.
I don't need to see a doctor. I'm well. I'm okay.

Laugh everything off...
when I do a bad shot I just laugh at how stupid I am
When I stop laughing I get really nervous and start screwing up...
and when I get mad and start frowning I'll start hitting birdies to the net or centre of the court...
and in the end I was so tired I kept sticking my tongue out to release heat....
ah... panting and sweating so much... endurance, endurance...

Morning band + 3 assemblies...
tournament right after school...
this is really tiring me out...
my energy level is reaching its bottom after my singles game....
*sigh* good thing consolation final is on sunday.

Uh... nothing much to write today
have to wake up for morning band tomorrow..
damnit... bringing 1 set of clothes for changing
and 2 extra pair of shoes (one for school one for badminton)...
damn..........
that means a total of two sets of clothes and 3 pairs of shoes... wat the hell
how am I gonna carry all that plus my usual backpack plus my racket!?!?!?

HAhaha I'm so self-centered...
I know it, I admit it, but I can't change it..
it's like a personality thing.
Can't help it at all.. all I can do is try my best not to show it.

so tired of dealing with people...
I'm so not suitable to be a banker. hehe

you may find me annoying
but hey!
this is me!
Like it or leave it....

~Uncertainties

You know wat,
I seriously don't care anymore
I'm just gonna do wat I can and live with the results...
If I could do well like I did last year I would be happy
but I would be satisfied with wat I have now
because more of my energy had been put in badminton...
kinda unbalanced between how much I should put in for acedemics
and how much i should put in for badminton...
but the choice is so obvious
badminton is something I enjoy and studying is something I don't.

don't be jealous of smart people...
there must be some part of you that is better than them,
that you would wish you had if you were the smart person.
don't be jealous of people who are perfect--
since no one can be perfect god must take something away from them
and that something can just happen be their lifespan......

my right shoulder area is very uncomfortable...
but it always gets better after a bit of badminton...
wanna do well in the tournament
and not regret my choices like last time.

Waiting, waiting and still waiting...
people, COME ONLINE!!!

Re-reading some old E-mails again
and I find them pretty funny....
not funny because they look dumb...
they're funny because the contents are humorous...
heeh.... it seemed like I enjoyed e-mailing b4 more......

Badminton game against DT was okay
we beat them by so much...
WoOHOO GO point grey....
I just wanted to showoff in front of Mr. Yu cuz he thought he was so good....
practiced with feather birdies afterwards
and I'm starting to get the hang of it
except I still can't really smash...
and I hit the net sometimes when I drop...
it's alright. Slowly.. i'll get the timing right by friday.
jenny you really should rest ur arm until the tournament...
if it hurts... save it for the tournament....
looking forward to the game vs Gladstone...
beating their girls is the only way to beat them.. but unfortunately...
*sigh*.... let's lose a pretty match.

If I were certain I would definitely go for it
but the thing is I'm not...
I'm never certain...

Laugh Out LOUD
as loud as u want
as loud as u can possibly laugh
now you feel happiness....

I wanna watch.... the one....

SO hyper...
since lunch when Jenny made me hyper...
I've been abnormal the whole day until afterschool...
badminton kinda sucked.
I lost all my basic skills playing with a feather birdie...
my timing is all out and I can't do any cut or slice...
clearing is bad too...
oh well. All I asked for is to get ranked or some kinda achievement...
for once... just once is enough...

Becoming moody again...
suddenly became very very scared during my shower...
it was like I'm scared for no reason but I can't stop my heart from beating so rapidly...
that feeling is not good... maybe something's gonna happen.

OH NO I missed the Weakest Link Celebrity thing....
Noooo... bad memory.

How can I screw that question up in the math test...
*sigh*... it's like.. I see two of those questions,
I just assume one would be the growth type and the other would be the logarithmic scale type..
so i tried so hard to do the second one with the log scale but ended up finding out I'm not supposed to...
AiSH......so dumb..
it's either my mind's not thinking straight
or my mind's thinking TOO straight..............

Hmmm... I really think I'm losing it.

HAHah
I just wanna YELL so loud
that my neighbours will start throwing stuff at me
and tell me to shut up

So annoyed....
I mean.. can't blame u for ur behaviour
but at the same time, I can't stand it....
sucks to be me...

Uh... don't feel like doing anything...
I feel like I'm dreaming all day long...
not thinking clearly not doing well...
this has been lasting for a month and still not gone.......
AHhhhhhhhhhhhh just kill me

*sigh*... I seriously need someone to pour ice cold water on me
when there's no rain....

oh, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRANK!
I'm SOOooo sorry I like.. forgot about it....
but SO know it's Nov. 5th but i just didn't realize it's that soon...
so so sorry... promise to get u ur present asap!!!
Ur SO OLD Frank! Ur the only one i can laugh at AHAHahhaa....

Yun bei yun,
bei sei yun a......

I think I know wat I want
I'm working towards it but I'm not getting anywhere at all...
might as well just give up.

Hahaha I can see my hopes flying away...away...
up onto nowhereland where people will catch them
and weave dreams out of them.......
then they'll send me the dream,
which will awaken me from my sleep
and make me work towards my goal with the new hope I gained...

YEEha...
my left shoulder hurts so much and becomes numb every night...
need rest........ but got no time to...

Yup... life is like a see-saw
when one side goes up, the other side goes down

Okay I don't know why
but I get tired SO easily now...
Badminton is the only thing that can make me un-tired...
OH god I think I'm addicted.

English project was a lot of memorizing,
but it was fun!
Wanna see the developed pictures so much... heeh
so memoriable... hehehe

Badminton was actually maamaa desu today...
I can't do anything with feather birdies..
all I could do was clear....
couldn't drop or cut or slice or smash properly...
so not used to the speed and nature of feather birdies....
why can't we just use one type of birdies for everything?!?
Why do we have to have training with plastic birdies but games with feather ones.. so unfair...

Lunch was pretty good..
Jenny joined us after badminton and we went to Cute Pearl
Jerry probably told some really sick joke again....
even tho Jenny and I didn't really get it....
hmmmmm must re-estimate the purity of people...
hehee j/k...yah and
STOP MAKING FUN OF MY CHINESE NAME....
not funny.... heh actually I'm so used to it already...=p

Reading some old E-mails...
WhoA.. a total of 118 E-mails...
it's kinda weird to see how much a person changed in 3 years...
it's ONLY been 3 years... haha
one can change a lot in this short period of time...

Damn I forgot to update my blog again
cuz i was too busy typing a 22kb long E-mail.
Well since it's 2AM already
I'm gonna stop now and leave the updating for tomorrow (or logically, today)...
must... sleep...

I suddenly have a feeling I got smarter.
I hope this feeling lasts
Actually, no
I hope this feeling becomes true.

Finally I broke it...
I didn't update at all yesterday...
didn't have the time to....
Ai..... why wat's wrong with me!?
I'm totally not thinking straight.................................

Stayed up till 1:30 proof-reading an essay...
morning band this morning...
tried taking a nap during my spare but I couldn't fall asleep...
Shao was studying english and Ann and Hendra was doing chem...
I had a left eyebrow-ache and didn't feel like doing anything....
so tired....
then at lunch I didn't realize I was supposed to do a sectional plus do info tech stuff
and I ended up not doing any of those... I went out for ice-cream instead.
By then my left eyebrow ache was gone..
but during chem I started having a right eyebrow ache...
AISH.... me and my stupid eyebrows....
but then again... badminton wore the headache off. hehehe
it sucked though... no fun at all...

kinda worried....

Why!??!
It was such an easy question and I got stupid things wrong...
I didn't used to be like that...
I feel my brain power leaking...
maybe I overused my brain during summer school.................

why is the glass so tall
I can see through it but I'll never get to taste wat's inside.
I know its appearance, but never the taste

Believe it or not,
badminton cure my pains
the more I play the less tired I get
the more I play the less pain I feel...
My arm doesn't hurt anymore...
my eye-brow ache was gone...
it's like... a miracle. hehe

No comment about today's game... hahah
but to Shao, I hope you're okay!
We're all worried about you.

Some idea I got from yesterday:
Being nice is not a must but that would better than not being nice
Not being nice is not too nice but that would be better than acting fake
Acting fake is not good but that would be better than looking nice but is fake inside.

Lalalalala........

Pretty bad day but good night. hehe

Stupid Letourneau...
I didn't even talk much..
I was doing homework and I was just high....
I was just high is there something wrong with being high in math class!?!?
She has no life...
she gets happiness by yelling at other ppl
she feels better when other ppl can't have fun.

Stupid Chem...
why did I mix (s) and (g) up..
why!?!?!? AiSH.................

I feel like I'm a 'harn yun'...
I'm not a group person... hehehe
I can get high really easily when I'm with one ppl...
and then... double the time with two,
triple the time with three, and so on...
I just basically never get high when I'm with a group...
But I still have fun.. but just not.. high ....

Uh... not really in the mood of updating today.
trying to crack my secret msg!?
u think ur smart!? Ahahahahaha